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Angela's Story

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  03:52:43  28 June 2008
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HL2 Master
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On forum: 06/28/2008
 

Message edited by:
HL2 Master
06/28/2008 7:33:55
Messages: 271
My first fan fiction posted online---Angela's Story

I have written fan fictions before but this is my first fanfiction on here, it is based one year after Shadow of Chernobyl, that is why I mention "the blow-out that caused the zone to expand again". Please excuse the spelling mistakes.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the sun was setting over the zone, the rain softly pattered down around the camp. Stalkers sat around the fires, talking and telling stories, or in old buildings eating or sleeping, trying to get shelter from the rain and wind outside. One sat on an old log by the entrance to the camp as a lookout, occasionally stopping to write a letter to his family. Even though most of the stalkers were busying themselves with various tasks, or socializing, one sat alone.

She was a female stalker, with brown hair and hazely eyes, her name was Angela. Nowadays it was not as rare to see a female stalker, there were many of them in the zone, though few ventured into the heart of the zone. Angela had only been in the zone since the last time it had expanded, that was one year ago. In the year that she had been there the zone had gotten more and more dangerous. Someone or something had been meddling in the center of the zone, in turn setting of a major blowout causing the zone to expand to twice its orginal size. She figured that it must have been one of these crazed adventurers trying to reach the rumored "wish-granter". Angela did not beleive the rumors about the wish granter but she did beleive in the zones evil and its power to create unimaginable horrors because it was something she had experienced first hand.This had taught Angela to keep her wits about her, play it smart and not piss the wrong people off.

As Angela sat there leaning aginast the fence, one of the stalkers who was over at the campfire called over to her, "Hey Angela, we are going to open a bottle of Vodka in a couple of mintues, do you want some?" "Sure, I'll be there in a second", she said. As she was sitting there she thought back to her first week in the zone.....

She had been walking along a forest path when three armed men in tatterd clothing and black hooded jackets stopped her, one of the men leant to his partner and muttered something to him in some language other that russian, this was a problem for Angela since she only knew English and enough russian to get by in the zone. Whatever the man had said caused his partner to laugh. One of them started to walk toward Angela, rifle in hand, making her feel very uneasey. In an attempt to get a sense of what their intentions were, she greeted them. All three men immediatly noticed her north American accent, then the man in front looked around to his friends and back at Angela saying, "Ooohh, and american girl, we love american girls."

Angela was quite scared at this point and put her hand on the old revolver on her waist. The man suddenly raised his rifle and snarled, "dont even try it yankee girl". Angela was nearly in tears at this point. One of the men in back said, " dont cry, just want to rob you and have a little fun thats all". Simultaneously the three men started to laugh, and then surround her. She started to fumble with the catch on her holster as the man with the rifle, presumably the leader, hit her in the head with the stock of his gun. The men rushed her, knocking her down and kicking her in the ribs. They started tearing off her backpack and spilling the contents and taking what they thought was of value. One man drew a large knife and cut away her belt and hoster, then malicously poked her in the arm. As the men rumaged through her belongings, the leader got a call on his radio.

"Serege, get your men and get your asses back to the camp, we are
storming a rookie camp tonight it mught be fun!" At that the men started piling things back into the backpack as the leader was admiring the new revolver he had aquired, he turuned to head back up the path, when one of the other men said, "Boss, what about her?" "Leave her, its getting dark and there are bound to be some hungry wolves around." With that the men headed off back to their camp, leaving Angela beaten and barely contious.


Even though that was a year before, it was still something that haunted Angela, she became warey of meeting new people, it almost even made her want to leave the zone and never come back, but she had things to do that was why she was still there, that was why she was heading over to the campfire for a glass of vodka before bed.
  08:46:28  29 June 2008
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HL2 Master
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On forum: 06/28/2008
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Please...

Please give the first part of my story, "Angela's Story" a chance. I put a lot of work into it and alot f though, I would really appreciate people's opions on what they liked or what I should work on. It would help me grow as a writer.

Many thanks.

HL2
  08:52:22  29 June 2008
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Stierlitz
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On forum: 05/25/2007
 

Message edited by:
Stierlitz
06/29/2008 8:56:42
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Threads merged.


Anyway, I read it and liked it. The tension build-up is good, considering it's such a short story. Of course you expect the worse to happen when female stalkers are involved.

Personally, I have nothing to criticise, so I'm waiting for the next part of the story.
  19:24:38  1 July 2008
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HL2 Master
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Thanks for the good comment, I will try to put the next part out today.

HL2
  03:08:24  2 July 2008
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AlaskanKnight
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On forum: 02/20/2008
 

Message edited by:
AlaskanKnight
07/02/2008 3:12:25
Messages: 127
I liked it - the Zone really does need more revolvers, you know. She should be grateful that things didn't get funky, though.

Anyways, for speech:

Incorrect: "Hey, dude," Bob said. "Wazzup, man," Frank replied.

Correct: "Hey, dude," Bob said.

"Wazzup, man," Frank replied.

----

That's the only thing I'll be critical of since I'm tired. Otherwise I like it, though. Good premise and good story, and your paragraphs are pretty good sized. Now, if only GSC would pay us to publish a 'Big Book o' Stalker Fiction' or something. We could always wish.

But, yup, I'm done rambling, now. (Normally I write something and forget it thirty seconds later)

-The Alaskan Knight

EDIT:

Also, if you have a word processor, those things are super duper handy for spell-checking and stuff. I just tried that for the last thing I put up on that one thingy I'm writing whose name I forgot, and I ended up writing more than normal and at a higher (I think) quality!

Anyways.

Keep up the good work!

Later.

EDIT:

ZOMG. I R HEART STIERLITZ



(Just kidding.

Maybe.







)

Back on topic:

Like I said, WP's are handy dandy.
  07:41:35  2 July 2008
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Stierlitz
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---QUOTATION---
ZOMG. I R HEART STIERLITZ



(Just kidding.

Maybe.

---END QUOTATION---




Wanna date?


Just kidding.

Maybe.
  09:45:48  2 July 2008
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xRatx
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It's the more cool story i ever read
  13:27:13  2 July 2008
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AlaskanKnight
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Message edited by:
AlaskanKnight
07/02/2008 13:28:01
Messages: 127

---QUOTATION---
Wanna date?


Just kidding.

Maybe.
---END QUOTATION---



Sorry, but those long-distance relationships never work out. I would know...

ISN'T THAT RIGHT, HL2 MASTER?!
  18:48:22  2 July 2008
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Stierlitz
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---QUOTATION---
Sorry, but those long-distance relationships never work out. I would know...


---END QUOTATION---




Oh...

*Sniff*

  18:55:42  2 July 2008
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HL2 Master
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---QUOTATION---
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, HL2 MASTER?!
---END QUOTATION---



Hey what do I know?! lol
  08:49:21  15 August 2008
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HL2 Master
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Angelas Story

Part 2 Continued (Just a short one)

----------------------------------------

As the sun rose over the zone the camp started to liven up Stalker bagan their daily routines of organizing equipment and having breakfast before they went about their daily business. Ass the other Stalkers started their day Angel just layed in her sleeping bag. As she was laying there, Dmitriy who had just trading for his breakfast walked over.

"Angela, why are'nt you up yet...?" Dmitriy asked in his russian accent.

Angela just laid looking at him, and he looked back while munched away on his stale bread. This got Angela up, for some reason Dmitriy always made her smile, it was just something about the way his boyish face, just looked at you, that made you want to laugh.

As she crawled out of her sleeping bag, with a sly grin on her face she said, "fine, I will get up, now that youve disturbed me". Angela went about gathering her things, so that they could get on with their day.

Out of all of the friends she had in the Zone, Dmitriy was Angela's best friend, really he was Angela's best friend anywhere, even though sometimes she would nag at him and other Stalkers would laugh or make jokes about how everytime he got hungry he would try to trade you bandages for a sausage or bread, he always pulled through in a situation. Dmitriy was kind and caring to anyone who deserved it, but a monster to those who were evil.

As Angela and Dmitriy set off along the dirt path to the road she found her self looking over at Dmitriy who was happily humming away the tune of Frank Sinatras My Way, when she realized how much she admired him, his attitude, skill, knowlege of the zone and his looks. When suddenly she was snapped out of her school girl like trance by someone calling after them.

It was Anton, he was running up after them, trying to stuff his blanket in to his pack and get the sling of his Ak-47 around his shoulder at the same time. He was cursing in Ukrainian and trying to get organized. Angela and Dmitriy exchanged entertained looks as they waited for their friend to catch up. Anton was a big man, an excelent shot and also a survival expert, just the type of person you woul want with you in the zone.

As he finished doing up the straps on his pack the three of them continued on their way.

----------------------------------------------------------

Sorry if it was too short or not that good I am just really tired and wanted to do a quick update, also I am kind of slow with intros, the story willl get deeper soon.
  17:56:46  15 August 2008
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AlaskanKnight
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Very good, sir. I approve of the content of this addendum.
  22:44:50  10 December 2008
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HL2 Master
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*****Okay so I have written a rough draft of a short part 3 for this story.

I was wondering though, should I just add it to this? Or, should I assimilate "Angela's Story" into a new story I am working on that will be from several different Stalkers veiw points?

I will probably go woth the latter, but I just wanted to get some opinions before I went ahead and did it.

Thanks,

HL2
  09:47:13  8 January 2009
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HL2 Master
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So no love for Angela's Story eh? Never mind, you will be pleased to know I will be incorperating it into this other story that Im doing, she will be one point of veiw. There will be a few others.

I just gotta install microsoft office on my pc.

HL2
  22:01:44  29 January 2009
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MariusLecter
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On forum: 10/17/2008
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Hurry it up man!


---QUOTATION---
Now, if only GSC would pay us to publish a 'Big Book o' Stalker Fiction' or something. We could always wish.
---END QUOTATION---



Graphic Novel.

It is the best way to go.
  15:15:43  30 January 2009
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I will, right now I only have everything on paper, my computer fritzed and I had to reformatt, and Im in the process of seeing what I had backed up.

HL2
  05:53:35  12 February 2009
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BB_Berserk
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On forum: 04/06/2008
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I'm lovin this story!

Just only remembered my login today! Have been reading unlogged though
  11:14:43  12 February 2009
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HL2 Master
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Okay guys, I promise that before the end of saturday I will have posted another part to this story. I promise. Although I am still considering making "Angelas Story" part of one big story that will involve a few different characters. So how about I post my next bit that is on paper at the momment, in rough, and I will go from there.
Thanks for the support too! You are good stalkers I will drink to you once more!
HL2
  07:42:44  13 February 2009
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Part 3!!! Short I know but I am working on Part 4!



Viktor sat on a rock smoking a cigarette, and lightly drumming his fingers on the side of his MP5 submachine gun. He was a thin but muscular man with dark hair. He stared up at the sky and noticed the sun; it had to almost be mid-day. “Fuck.” he muttered.
This was not the first time this had happened, he had been kept waiting. Victor had agreed to meet Angela at this set place and she was now running late by twenty-two minutes. Viktor was rapidly growing impatient, Angela and her friends were meant to meet him and the four of them would proceed to the Dark valley as part of an expedition headed by Duty, to the newly discovered bunker referred to as X20.

It turned out that after the third major explosion at the power plant, which was caused in June of 2012, when a bunch of carless troublemakers, which seems to be most of the stalkers at the time, rushed to the center of the zone after some guy named Marked-One, slaughtered loads of Monolith whack jobs, shut of the Brain-Scorcher, blasted his way through Prypiat and into the power plant, and after about ten minutes there was an explosion and the biggest blowout in the history of the zone. So big that it could not even be measured on the birdman scale and caused the zone to expand to over twice its original size. In Viktor eyes this behaviour was not at all acceptable, now no one could reach the center because of all of the anomalies, old and new. The blow out had devastating effects killing hundreds, swallowing up loads of small outside towns and villages and initiating thousands of civilians into stalker-hood against their will, many of which died in the first month. The Ukrainian government had accepted aid from foreign powers, and created a Joint Task Force, to evacuate civilians and erect a new cordon though even with all of the countries working together both could not be done so they chose they safest option, containment.
Viktor had heard about the expedition from a Duty guy at the 100 rads bar in Rostok. It seemed that this new bunker was discovered but some lone stalkers, and General Voronin, Duty’s leader had wanted control over it any other faction. This however would have been no easy task, seeing as how many Duty members perished in June 2012, and the second in command had packed up and left with nearly half of the remaining members following in his wake, the duty trader, Petrenko being one of them. Voronin had needed to hire out and this is how Viktor and his associates had landed themselves the job. Everything about this job seemed appealing, new sites and sounds, a fair cash payment, potentially artefacts, and networking, in the zone you can never have too much networking. The one thing that was a little concerning was that some members from the mercenary faction had been hired to help out, and Viktor knew that Angela’s friends Dmitri and Anton had a bad history with them.

Just as Viktor was thinking about them, Angela and her friends appeared from around the pathway and were waving at him. He put out his cigarette and waited on anticipation.
“What the fuck took you so long” growled Victor
“nice to see you too Viktor” Angela said sarcastically.
“easy Brother, we had too much to drink” said Dmitri
“VODKAAAAAAA” added Anton.
“Angela, why do you associate with these idiots?”
“Because they are my friends Viktor, but yeah, you would not know what that felt like would you?” said Angela in a snotty tone.
Viktor shot her a dirty look and said, “Whatever, let’s get moving, the driver is all the way by then old military check-point so that means we have a shit load of running to do .”
And with that the four of them took off up the pathway toward the old entrance to the zone.
  12:59:03  16 February 2009
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BB_Berserk
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