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  00:10:32  2 June 2010
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Strelok08
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 03/12/2010
Messages: 787
I could see this as a book

Your building the tense feeling which is always good.
  00:13:02  2 June 2010
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Teh Soul Eater
I didn't do it.
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 03/21/2010
Messages: 1667
Nice sig david.

Good story. Getting better although one problem: Not long enough
  03:14:47  2 June 2010
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th3l4st0ne
(Novice)
 
On forum: 05/21/2010
 

Message edited by:
th3l4st0ne
06/02/2010 3:15:25
Messages: 40
I'm glad that you say that(both) because yes my stories are short, but this summer they will be longer. They are actually work I did for my English class. Only the 3rd part is recevied by the teacher since the other one have some 'foul' language and this remove me points...

next part: tomorrow!!
  02:27:14  3 June 2010
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th3l4st0ne
(Novice)
 
On forum: 05/21/2010
 

Message edited by:
th3l4st0ne
06/03/2010 2:55:44
Messages: 40
A step into Freedom

I was driving since six hours. Six hours of dead streets in a freezing

summer day. How the hell could it be so cold in summer? I didn’t saw

anyone driving around there. All what had to be seen was gigantic grass

fields moving in harmony with the wind. In facts, there were some

people in camo gears advancing toward the zone. The only word that

can describe is stalkers. Who else could it be? Militaries? Hell no, not

three kilometers away from the gates. The fresh wind was softly

washing my fears away. The fears about mom and dad who might send

the police after me, the fear of what lies in the zone, the fear of death,

and so much more. I saw a little abandoned house. It looked like it

wasn't held for about twelve years, had a rusting black roofing and white

rock walls. I gave a quick check on my map and yes, it’s where I was

supposed to sleep. I turned in the entry and parked the car behind the

house. I turned the engine off, removed the fuse plate and left in the

house with all my stuff on my back. Right when I entered the small

door, my tought about the house being lost for ages were confirmed: a

thick layer of dust was covering the old furniture and many of them

where broken. I looked up and saw a trap leading to the attic. I went up

and felt something wrong halfway in. I looked in my back to find a long

gun barrel pointed right in my face. “Move and your head will end as cat

food” a strong voice said behind me.



Too close to ignore it.
  03:49:08  3 June 2010
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Teh Soul Eater
I didn't do it.
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 03/21/2010
Messages: 1667
Damn these cliffhangers.
  04:26:05  3 June 2010
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th3l4st0ne
(Novice)
 
On forum: 05/21/2010
Messages: 40

---QUOTATION---
Damn these cliffhangers.
---END QUOTATION---





tomorrow part 4 and 5.
as you may see, I liek clifhangers
  02:50:30  4 June 2010
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th3l4st0ne
(Novice)
 
On forum: 05/21/2010
Messages: 40
I watched as the man emerged from the shadow: he looked like he had 40 years old, was six feet high, beard and hair clean shaved, dressed in a black trench coat with a hood. He turned in circles around me, inspecting my face, clothes and my backpack. He finally stopped and looked at me with his whitened green eyes. “I never saw you before, and my knowledge seems to tell me that you seem to be a new stalker. What is your business here?” He said, still pointing me with his dangerous toy that I recognized as an early AK47, but the barrel seemed too small to be one. “I want to get into the Zone, and this was my refuge for the night. I will head down tomorrow morning. And please, keep your gun low. I would not like having a bullet into the chest without even having put a foot in the Zone.” I said back, still nervous about his greeting. He lowered his gun, and gave a smile I never expected.
“You seem clean, now get up there so we can talk a bit before the sun set down. My name is Bearpaw, and you?”
“Well, I haven’t found a nickname yet, but it will surely happen in no long. You look pretty much like one of those veterans I heard of. Tell me about yourself a bit.”
“Goddammit. Where do I get started…? In the late years I was a bandit; killing stalkers without real purpose and robbing everyone I crossed alive. I acted like that for a while, 3 years, until I saw my leader mutilate a loner under my eyes. Only then I realized what I was doing all these years. I felt like I was a big firm owner who just realized what he was doing to his exploited workers. I cursed myself a shitload of times, gave everything to the starters in the base camp and left for the civilization. Now after my birthday marking my 24, I wanted to go back where I lived. I won’t make the same mistakes twice, and if that asshole of Borov is still alive, I’m going to kick his ass until he die. Now it’s your turn youngster.”
The chatting went by, the night came. Even if it was dark and raining outside, inside were two friends for who the weather didn't matter.
  04:11:45  4 June 2010
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Roughneck
(Novice)
 
On forum: 09/22/2009
Messages: 9
Your English is very good, for not being your native language.

Only minor slip ups, but your story is still completely understandable.
  04:14:01  4 June 2010
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Teh Soul Eater
I didn't do it.
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 03/21/2010
Messages: 1667
Getting good. Hope it gets better
  03:11:06  5 June 2010
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th3l4st0ne
(Novice)
 
On forum: 05/21/2010
 

Message edited by:
th3l4st0ne
06/05/2010 5:43:08
Messages: 40
The bounds of Friendship



I woke up at the sunrise, feeling something I didn’t had since I moved in Ukraine: a true

friend. Bearpaw told me everything about his life, his amazing skills to train mutants to

be his allies, his passion for hunting artifacts, his knowledge of Russian weaponry and

more I could ever think. I never felt so confident in anyone I ever met. This 24 years-

old stalker wasn’t meant to be a thief: he was one of those who won’t leave you die face

to an army. The sunshine warmed me in a way I never felt before. Why have-I waited

so long before making my first step into this? People were saying this was hell down

there, but I wonder now if it wouldn’t be the opposite. Society was almost beating down

people for their money. Thieves and criminals were mass murdering people around the

world. And since I disconnected from all this, I felt like a new self. Wouldn’t be cities the

real hells? I didn’t want to know anymore, I didn’t care anymore. The only thing I

wanted was to continue the path my destiny made. Putting my thoughts aside, I woke

him up and we settled down to the gate. We arrived at proximity around twelve o’clock.

He made me sign to stop and we hid in the grass.

“You see that fence? It is on a high power output and is always activated. You touch it

and you end up as a fried chicken. But this part won’t. With my team we hacked the

control panel to only put enough to operate a small flashlight so we can pass without

having to deal with the army. Now move on, we got a long walk awaiting us.” He said

while putting back his binoculars in his pouch. We advanced carefully toward the fence

but no one was watching from the sentry tower. In fact, they were all empties.

“Strange. There’s nothing alive out there.” I whispered. We walked in front of the fence

and looked in his binoculars again, this time toward the main outpost. He gave me them

and I looked. There was a damn meeting and four scientists waiting to go thought.
Three
of them wore an orange isolated suit and the other one wore what seemed to be a black

bulletproof version of these. Bearpaw finished cutting the fence and we went through.

We advanced toward the dot that was supposed to be the rookie camp on the map.

Suddenly, my Geiger detector went crazy and beeped like if I was in the middle of a

nuclear plant. It stopped and started again each two seconds. I had the feeling

something was incoming as I saw a bunch of boars and dogs oddly deformed running

straight past us. A sudden powerful and warm wind blew me on the ground while my ally

ran like a mad man screaming something I could not understand. My left foot was

twisted and could barely run as the sky turned red: a damn blowout was going to hit in

any moments. I reached the camp, saw Bear run into a basement and lock the heavy

steel door behind him. It was all over. I watched helplessly the radiation wave rushing

toward me and at the impact I didn’t felt anything.


I simply blacked out.
 
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