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'The Rookie'

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Question Erm,excuse me,is it good?
Answers
Yup
No
Kinda
Hell yes
No!!!! NO!
Posted by/on
Question/AnswerMake Newest Up Sort by Descending
  22:36:36  25 March 2010
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QuaNTuMbenxh
Albanian Monsteя!
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 10/05/2008
Messages: 918
Yea but still, make it a little more vivid in a sense.

Make the posts a little bit "longer" you know, it seems too sped up, it should flow more slowly, but thats just my opinion.

Have Fun
  22:46:29  25 March 2010
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Thrashdude
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 01/15/2010
Messages: 3940
I know...

I don't have much time for writing.

Also Quantum,I realized I sit nearby you.

I am actually Albanian too
  11:07:57  26 March 2010
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QuaNTuMbenxh
Albanian Monsteя!
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 10/05/2008
Messages: 918

---QUOTATION---
I know...

I don't have much time for writing.

Also Quantum,I realized I sit nearby you.

I am actually Albanian too
---END QUOTATION---




Are you kidding me?

Pashë zotin?
hahahah kjo është gjëja më e mirë chë mka ndhur në këto Forume hahahha.

Por unë jetoj në Shkup ;P.

Anyway enough Off Topic cuz Don has got quite a nice tendency to bust in. as such, I wish you look in further endeavors and I'll support you buddy.
  19:35:33  26 March 2010
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Thrashdude
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 01/15/2010
Messages: 3940
I did not learn the language,I was born there,but you are right.

Stop off topic.

Well,next chapter is going to have 'less action' probably...

Except a Chimera.
  22:52:03  30 March 2010
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Thrashdude
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 01/15/2010
Messages: 3940
Chapter 4

The Skadovsk was a ship,an ark,amongst all others. Being my first time in The Zone,this ‘Little Piece of Heaven,’ I could not understand which was the old ship,and which was a house of death. There were many little lakes nearby,I could not let myself stop looking to their sheer beautifulness,even though they probably held many horrors inside. It was like hypnosis;you would walk,as if it was a good thing for you,but still,you would walk into a deathtrap. Skadovsk was the possible ‘safe havens’ Leighman talked about. God,Leighman’s death was a shock for us. Blink of an eye,gone. The ‘Leftenant’ of our group,our humor,our friend,gone. I was alone in this fucking waste,a place where your every step could be your death. Stepan was one example,and if the bloodsucker was hungry,I would be another example for another stalker. Stepan,may he rest in,whatever. The fucking bastard tried to kill me after all. Still,he seemed like a possible companion,hell,maybe a friend. I did not know who was good and who was bad in this place,Stepan seemed ‘bad’ or ‘grunt’ but he just seemed to care about me. Who knows,maybe because I spared his fucking life. Perhaps,this place was no other than the ‘earth,’ the ‘outside.’ After all,the place did not have any differences. If you would get killed by an anomaly,a truck would be your end ‘outside.’
My mind was blurred because of all the thoughts. I did not know what to do. Hell,this place was not good for me. It was not good for anyone. The place was evil. Cruel. I did not know where I was,nor I knew where was north or where was south. I was completely lost. Grabbing my L85,I slowly slinged it on my shoulder,and I started to walk towards the ships. There was a barge too,it emitted a strange light. I had to be cautious. I sticked towards the bushes,and I slowly looked around,not looking back at all.
I finally entered a house,abandoned because of the mutants. I could tell that,as there were many mutant parts around,and blood.
‘’Hey,stalker,do you need help?’’ A rather feminine voice told me. I did not know who that was,so I quickly grabbed my rifle and looked around. The stalker was not here.
I felt a little hand touching my shoulder. The fingernails slowly dragged themselves on my shoulder,as if they tried to penetrate my arm. This was definitely a woman,although I still had to be careful. Women were probably dancing with the devil here. ‘’I am Alisa,and I guess you are a rookie.’’ The voice whispered to my ear. I did not know what to do,I felt frozen.
‘’Who..the hell are you?’’ I asked,trying to seem sharp. She suddenly turned to me,looking towards my eyes. She seemed very good,her short reddish brown hair was near his shoulders. Her green eyes looked directly into mine,her skin was very pale,and weirdly,she seemed to wear good armor. Grabbing my other shoulder,she raised a brow.
‘’I think I told you my name,didn’t I?’’ She muttered,still looking towards me like a predator looking towards a cattle.
‘’Oh,I see. You want to know what I am doing.’’ She muttered,probably trying to make me feel shamed and stupid.
‘’Get away from me,woman!’’ I shouted,as I grabbed her hand and pushed her aside. She fell,and started to look towards me. I looked over to her. She was helpless,I did not get how she was this...
Tough.
‘’My gosh...’’ I muttered,looking towards her. Her bag was opened wide,revealing a lot of food and ammo. ‘’You have good stuff there.’’
I slowly walked towards her,grabbing a pack of cigarettes.
‘’Go on! Do whatever you want to me! But I am not like the women who get themselves fucked for money!’’ She shouted,and started to struggle away. She slowly crawled towards a room,and shutted the door,and bolted it,which was surprising,as this house was rotting,a bolt would get rusted and broken.
‘’Open! I won’t do anything!’’ I shouted,raising my hands in order to show that I was not hostile.
A cocking noise penetrated the silence,forcing me to run for cover. I pushed a nearby table,and took cover.
She started to fire blindly through the door,the wooden door was no match for lead coming at high velocity,in short,bullet.
I looked around,trying to find a way to open the door. I was not going to ‘do’ it to her,but still,she thought I would. I finally grabbed my gun,and cocked it.
‘’Girl,get away from the door!’’ I shouted,and started firing towards the door. A huge hole was on the door,and I could hear moaning voices.
‘’What the-‘’ I thought to myself,still shocked. Was she shot? I knew women were like glass,one hit and gone.
‘’STALKER! DAMN YOU! MY LEG!’’ A voice shouted. I got back,and started to run towards the door,and kicked it open.
She lied there,defenseless,and shot in the leg. The hole was not big,but it would kill a man if it was on the chest or abdomen. She struggled,and gasped. ‘’Help me!’’ She shouted. The tide was changed. Now I was the predator. I would show mercy,she was a woman and she did nothing to me. Hell,it was my fault that she was shot.
‘’Hold on,I think I had a bandage...’’ I muttered,as I placed my backpack on the floor and opened it.
Under my helmet,lied a single bandage. She was lucky,this was the last one I had. I kneeled,looking towards her leg. I grabbed it,and opened the bandage’s package.
‘’Are you Sure that this will keep me going?’’ She muttered,still gasping because of the wound’s shock.
I grabbed my knife,and slowly unsheathed it,looking towards Alisa. ‘’What are you going to do with it?’’ She asked,looking to me,wondering what I’ll do.
‘’I’ll take the bullet out.’’ I muttered,as I looked deeply inside the wound. I looked over to the room,as I realized there was a bed.
I neared it,and teared a piece of cloth. Turning towards Alisa,I slowly handed the cloth over.
‘’What I am going to do with this thing?’’ She asked,as she grabbed it with her fragile,clean hands.
‘’Bite it with all your strength,it will ease this for a little.’’ I muttered. My military days were flashing in my mind,how my old commander shouted to me in Iraq,telling me to place a piece of cloth in a little girl’s mouth.
‘’Sir,why do I have to do this?’
‘‘She is hurt. This will ease the pain for her.’’
She gasped,as I penetrated her skin with my knife. The bullet was deep inside,so I had to penetrate deeper. I placed the knife inside,poking the bullet with my knife. She started gasping,and she let an ear-shattering moan after she stopped moving. I finally pushed the bullet away,and got it. Throwing it away,I slowly looked over to her,with a huge feeling of ‘triumph.’
She was unconscious,she got shocked,and the pain was too much for her to bear.
I grabbed her,and started to carry her,while walking towards Skadovsk. I didn’t know what to do with her,but probably,a medic would be there. Still,I had to be careful. I kept walking,still looking towards the ships,which had no sign of life,just like the very ground.
  21:21:16  2 April 2010
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Simbalime
Bacon
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 08/24/2009
Messages: 348
Whoa! VERY good story mate waiting for an Awesome next chapter
oh, all the old memories coming up about Bug. As Always, Waiting for next chapter Thrash
  21:56:53  2 April 2010
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Thrashdude
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 01/15/2010
Messages: 3940
Thanks...

You back?

Oh God!

Keep on Nik,it seems to be more realistic than the others.
  22:11:09  2 April 2010
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Simbalime
Bacon
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 08/24/2009
Messages: 348
yeah about the story..... i stopped. for good. i ain't gonna write any stories anymore.

its just that interest in the story are just too....low. i mean, in all the three stories I've written, i just feel like its.....well the stories was in wain. with all the Major stories going on, (like snorkbait) i am nothing. i will admit, Snorkbait deserves all his readers, he is about like 1000 times better than me, and he does a really good job. but, if you look at snorkbait and then my story, you will see that his story is 10000 times better than mine. heck, i myself is a huge Snorkbait fan, and with good reason. the guy is like a god when it comes to writing. so i stopped, for good. i decided to let the writing go on to those who are good at it. but i am still hanging around the forums, and i think i will spend a lot of time on the general thread.
  22:55:36  2 April 2010
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Thrashdude
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 01/15/2010
Messages: 3940
Well,it is about publishing.

People read it,right?

You have worked on them.

But whatever,you can stick to this forum very well.

There is a picture mole made in Stalker community fan art

Also,I am thinking of making a roleplay thread...

Should I?
  23:42:00  2 April 2010
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Simbalime
Bacon
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 08/24/2009
Messages: 348

---QUOTATION---
Well,it is about publishing.

People read it,right?

You have worked on them.

But whatever,you can stick to this forum very well.

There is a picture mole made in Stalker community fan art

Also,I am thinking of making a roleplay thread...

Should I?
---END QUOTATION---



sure, go at it dude
 
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