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The legend of the fabled "bread"

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  13:41:17  4 January 2011
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Zezibesh
(Novice)
 
On forum: 01/04/2011
 

Message edited by:
Zezibesh
01/04/2011 13:42:32
Messages: 8
The legend of the fabled "bread"

As some of you veterans may already know, the fabled entity known as "bread", disguising itself as a loaf of bread is not actually eatable in the game. There is good reason for this.
Enjoy the the magnificent tale.






Gather round stalkers, let me tell my latest tale from the wilder parts of the Zone. Everyone sitting comfortably? Hey, Fima, stop shining your flashlight in my face. Good.

This I heard from an old stalker near the Rostok factory. I was looking for a friend of mine...
Well that's another story for another day. As I was saying, I was wandering around the area, wearing some metal hoops inside my helmet due to the recent controller spottings, when I saw this guy in one of those black trenchcoats the bandits fancy, waving to me from the construction site. He didn't seem like a bandit, his advanced night vision device being a dead giveaway of a somewhat wealthy individual. As I approached him, I noticed that his big appearance was because of his coat was padded with some thick material, maybe armor plates or just fur for warmth. Inside the coat was a thin, wiry old man.

He pointed at the horizon, and muttered "You'd better come inside soon, I think I smell an emission on the way" and sniffed at the air as if to give more weight to his words. As you all know, the Zone has many of these strange old stalkers who know the region like their pockets. No, rather like the back of their hands. I had heard of these stories of course, and I had no reason for mistrust towards the man so as he started to walk towards one of the abandoned train cars I promptly followed him, glancing at the reddening northern horizon. We sat in silence, until the first emission wave hit.

While the rumbling waves of radiation and strange energies scorched the ground and killed everyone with enough poor luck to stay outside, he started to tell me a tale.
"Have you heard of the "bread", my boy?" he asked, forming air quotes with his fingers.
"Bread?" I asked. "With quotes?"
"Yes." he confirmed. "Most of the loafs of bread you see around the Zone are actually imported, there are no active bakeries inside the the limits of the exclusion zone. Why would there be? Why would anyone bring flour here to bake bread just to have it irradiated in the process?"
"Good question" I answered. "That wouldn't really make sense, would it?"
"Indeed it wouldn't. Too much effort with no real gain. But where do the rumors of Zone baked bread come from then?"

"Some time in 2011, when the Brain Scorcher was still operational, I was using one of the little-known caves in the Red Forest area to visit Pripyat. Back then it was a ghost town, no fanatics, no braindead, only small amounts of mutants. There was a small group of four stalkers, belonging to a former major faction, apparently scouting the area for their faction in preparation for something. They seemed a bit stiff to me, reluctant to take off their masks, not wanting to talk of their mission. However, they warmed up quick enough as I drew out several bottles of vodka from my backpack. By sundown, we were singing and playing harmonica in unison, exchanging stories, spilling the beans, you know.
Their leader told me a most frightening tale of the Pripyat bakery, and what they had witnessed there in their first trip to the city."

"Back in '86 when the reactor four accident happened, the city was completely abandoned in a few days, the bakery included. The dough was left there as the workers fled. In the following weeks when the radioactive dust from the fires settled, the dough was still there, supposedly now growing any mold or rotting away according to one of the Liquidators.
He speculated that the radiation had somehow changed the essence of the dough, making it able to survive the many years it spent in the Pripyat bakery without going bad. It survived down there, for decades.
By the time the first smaller emissions hit, the dough mutated. It started to expand, consuming the small bits of flora and the occasional animal that came to poke through the remains of the building. The mass grew and grew, eventually overtaking the whole basement and slowly spreading on the ground floor of the building. It started to spread by metastasis. sending bits of itself to other locations in the city, spreading like cancer in an afflicted body with no immune system. "

"By the time my new friends stumbled upon it, the Bakery was a bubbling mass of raw dough and fully baked bread with a delicious looking brown crust. This being had never met humans before, and thus had no defenses except for its impressive mass."

"An impressive mass of dough does not help against flamethrowers."

"They burned the building to cinder, and located other afflicted positions in apartment buildings and sewers. Burned them just in case. They didn't know if it was actually dangerous, but if you met a massive mutated being in a city of anomalies and mutants, wouldn't you try to destroy it as well? They didn't know if it could have been sending strange brainwaves and whatnot in their direction."

"For all intents and purposes, the large "bread"-being was dead. But small pockets survived. Without the guidance of the mother "bread", they broke up into individual loaves of "bread" resembling the one you're chewing on right now, hunting whatever small creatures they could. So, if you have a loaf of bread, and are doubtful of its origins, don't risk it. Throw it away, or better yet, burn it."

I sat through this incredible story in silence, the rumbling outside the train carriage slowly fading as the emission was ending. But I had doubts, who wouldn't?

"If this impressive tale is true, why has no one heard of the 'bread that kills'? Surely someone would have witnessed a crawling loaf of "bread", choking a stalker to his death as he bit on it?"
"Aha!" He exclaimed. "A skeptic. A reasonable stance, as this tale indeed sounds quite impossible. But I have proof."
"What?" I asked. Was the old man telling the truth?
"Yes, yes, it's here somewhere" the veteran mumbled while digging through his backpack. Then he drew a white plastic bag wrapped around what seemed like an ordinary loaf of bread.
"There you go", he said.
"I don't notice anything special about it" I said. "You sure this is the correct bread?"
"Look at it closely, he said."

I looked. I stared at it for at least five minutes. It was just bread. As I was thinking of leaving the crazy old man with his stories, I noticed something.
The "bread".


It twitched.




If you require proof, here you go:
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/795329/Pictures/me/screnshot/FRAPS/XR_3DA%202010-12-09%2015-50-32-54.png
  14:54:30  4 January 2011
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-=Grunt=-
Cake Muncher
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 01/08/2009
Messages: 4114
Haha, good one. I like it.
  00:58:13  6 January 2011
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belizarius
Strelok Holmes
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 09/02/2009
Messages: 222
Truly original story...it made my day
  14:27:04  9 January 2011
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romulous
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 12/28/2007
Messages: 1868
Awesome first post Zezibesh
  08:34:46  10 January 2011
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sgt.davis44
Scared shitless by Bloodsuckers
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 04/16/2010
Messages: 530
OMS!!! This is so cool =D

p.s What mod are you playing in the screenshot?
  01:59:29  11 January 2011
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DisabledDino
(Novice)
 
On forum: 01/11/2011
Messages: 27
Thank god you are using a mod, or-else I would never eat bread without triple-checking it again!
  21:10:03  11 January 2011
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Asthir
(Novice)
 
On forum: 11/20/2010
Messages: 32
That "bread" is from vanilla but don't worry you can't eat it.
  21:51:11  11 January 2011
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Thrashdude
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 01/15/2010
Messages: 3940
The legend of the fabled "bread"

No wonder why you can't eat it.

TD
  19:05:49  12 January 2011
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Zezibesh
(Novice)
 
On forum: 01/04/2011
Messages: 8

---QUOTATION---
OMS!!! This is so cool =D

p.s What mod are you playing in the screenshot?
---END QUOTATION---



AMK 1.4 with AMK-EN 2.0.94, AMK Arsenal 1.7 and Kingo's shader mod.


Glad to see people like this, I'm currently writing another story, although not as humorous as this one.
  19:21:18  12 January 2011
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Thrashdude
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 01/15/2010
Messages: 3940
The legend of the fabled "bread"

It's not humorous. It's f---ing scary.

TD
 
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