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Two S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Mini Stories.

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  14:36:31  20 December 2010
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Derranged
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On forum: 04/12/2010
 

Message edited by:
Derranged
12/20/2010 14:37:18
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Two S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Mini Stories.

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: The Short Life.

I woke up in an abandoned building, it was made from old crumbling bricks and rusty steel. The building was shaking from what sounded like bombs blowing up. I tried to push myself up but noticed my hands had been shot by a gun, they were in extreme pain and now I cannot move them. I can guess that adrenaline was keeping the pain away but only for a short moment. I turned my head to look around but pain had stopped me in my tracks, It seemed that my net was also damaged but I could not see. I moved my legs and didn't feel any pain so I thought that my legs were fine, but it was bad that I couldn't move any other parts of my body. The lucky thing was that I was able to move my arms but not very far, if I tried to move my arms to far they would start hurting. I thought that maybe something had become lodged into my joints which made it hard to move. I have managed to crawl my way to an examination tabl which was infront of me, I picked my arms up and was able to reach the tabl with my elbows. I picked myself up but my arms slipped, I thought that the examination table might have blood on it which was going to make this hard. I gave it another go and picked my arms up. This time it was succesful, I dragged myself up there and sat on the table. I looked around and noticed what I didnt notice before, the place was bathed with blood. The building shook once more from a bomb hitting the ground, I decided to walk to the door which was a couple of metres infront of me. I stood up on my legs, I was lucky that no part of my body had been damaged near my legs which could make this alot harder. I walked to the old and rusty door and turned the steel handle. I walked out and into the sun light only to see a military helicopter fly by. I quckly ran back inside and closed the door. I plugged up my ears as a missile flew at the building. I dropped to the ground and the door and bricks around it flew past me and smashing into the walls. I dragged myself up again to turn around and watch military personel rushing into the building. They all aimed their weapons at my and fired...


S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Hellish Rain.

As the shells of enemy artillery pounded my possition up in the mountains I remembered myself about the family I had back home, ouside of the zone. I wanted to leave but me and my men had been advised that if we retreated we would be shot on site as they would think we were the enemy. I quickly returned to reality and opened fire at the men rushing up the hill to quickly assault my possition. I reached for my bealt and grabbed a grenade, I lobbed it down the hill and the men did not notice the grenade. It stopped at their feet and exploded, blood went flying and the bullets kept coming. An artillery shell landed near my possition and I noticed the strikes had been getting closer. I and my men decided to rush the enemy as the artillery would blow us up anyway. I jumped up and ran down the hill with my soldiers, one enemy raised his head up from a boulder and I quickly aimed and gave it a short burst. Blood and greymatter flew out of his head and his body rolled down the hill. I crouched by a boulder as did my men. More enemies tried to rush us but one of them was unlucky, I jumped up and gave it a short burst hitting him in the stomach. He fell to the ground clenching his guts as he slowly died from blood loss. Another came up close and was just about to fire but I kick him which nocked him back. I ran up to him and opened fire, the bullets penetrating his skin and going out the other side leave a trail of blood along the ground. He dropped to the ground but I was out in the open, as I turned my head a bullet from an enemy sniper went through my eye and exited through the other side...
  17:19:15  20 December 2010
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Thrashdude
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On forum: 01/15/2010
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Two S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Mini Stories.

You see, they're good, but dying in first-person isn't very good. You just can't wrap it up.

Otherwise, they're pretty cool.

TD
  17:23:09  20 December 2010
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Derranged
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On forum: 04/12/2010
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Lol thanks, and it can easily end with them dying. It's simply that they had become overpowered. Now I will most likely remake the first mini story into a real story which will explain everything.

Also, Have a think. Combine the begining with the end and you will come to a simple conclusion. Well... not that simply.. xD
  18:22:37  20 December 2010
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EnragedOtter
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On forum: 12/12/2009
 

Message edited by:
EnragedOtter
12/20/2010 18:23:17
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both feel like far too much of a chunk of a story...not a full story. Frist one certainly felt a bit repetitive.

Also they dont feel like storys of the Zone..no atmosphere etc.

Other than that the writing is good except for the odd spelling error and a habit of being repetitive.
  04:48:05  21 December 2010
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Derranged
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On forum: 04/12/2010
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Well, they are a chunk of what could be a full story but these are only small parts of the stories which I might actually decide to finish start to finish. The only thing is, when I want to write just a story I ussualy end up writting a whole book.
 
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