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"My duty..." A short story -being written-

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  17:15:30  8 December 2010
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skull132
(Novice)
 
On forum: 10/27/2009
Messages: 2
"My duty..." A short story -being written-

So yeah, I like to write stories, and I also like the STALKER universe. Put the two together and you get this. A short story (I guess one could call it that) about a German stalker named Erik Eberhart, and his adventures as a member of Duty. Right now I have only written the two first chapters, but I'll hopefully finish this by January.

Does anyone know what disclaimers (if any) to put at the start so I wouldn't get hunted down by copyright people?

This is a small section of the story I've written so far (I may change this later):
„Here!“ I said after I had smashed my shoulder against the wall. „Good, get some fire down on the left flank! Hurry!“ Said and done, I started firing at the bandits trying to flank us. I dropped at least four of them. At this point the bandits should have been dead, all of them, but they weren't. Apparently they received reinforcements, or something. The fact is that there were actually more bullets flying towards us now. “Where do they keep coming from!?” shouted Vasili, probably in frustration. Then suddenly, I hear a grenade pin being pulled, I look to my right and see Anton throwing a hot one towards the incoming fire. BOOM!
The gunfire slows down. “Only a few shooters left! Go go go!” yelled the squad leader. I poked my head out from behind the wall and covered my squad while they advanced. I pick off another who's trying to unjam his gun. The gunfire stopped completely. I jumped over the wall and started running towards my squad.

Constructive critisism is always welcome.
  07:34:34  9 December 2010
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Maiman
Guess Who.
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 01/22/2008
Messages: 3536
Sounds interesting, I will need to read more before criticism can come but it might be intriguing.

Anyways as for disclaimers...

Hire Isaiah Mustafa to say the following lines (record this)

"The following story is based on the events of S.T.A.L.K.E.R. and is not for profit, the story may also contain some naughty words and violence and should not be read by small chidlren or bible school or people who wear dresses, readers discretion is advised."

Okay you don't really need to hire Isaiah Mustafa to say that or even need to say that unless you feel cautious... I just really want to hear that guy say something like that because that guy is awesome...

...

Hes on a horse HYAH!

Anyways can't wait to read more
  07:48:20  16 December 2010
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Mr. Mutant
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 08/04/2008
 

Message edited by:
Mr. Mutant
12/16/2010 7:49:35
Messages: 210
needs moar detail cant be like i shotted and dropped 4 of them it has to be like...

Another shot from my rifle hits a bandit in the chest, he drops immediately and begins convulsing in his own pile of blood. I fire another round which smacks one in the shoulder and he lets out a grunt as he falls in agony to the ground. My reflexes are fine tuned and I'm ready to kill more. I reload. Aim. Fire. A third one drops as he jumps for cover leaving brain matter splattered on the tree behind him. I walk up to the third one on the ground. His arm nearly detached only hanging by a few tendons. Amazing what a 7.62mm round can do to unarmored flesh. I slip out my rusty Berreta and place a 9mm between his eyes before the scum has a chance to beg for mercy.
  08:37:25  16 December 2010
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Derranged
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 04/12/2010
Messages: 1009

---QUOTATION---

Amazing what a 7.62mm round can do to unarmored flesh

---END QUOTATION---



Do you know what would be more devostating? 7.62mm hollowpoint rounds.. xD
 
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