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Light bearer

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  18:38:42  18 October 2010
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dayvour
(Novice)
 
On forum: 10/18/2010
Messages: 4
Light bearer

I'm new to this forum, I'm unapologetic if I infringe on absurd rules in advance. Anything I write down henceforth is completely fine and could not be intellectually contested, I have no problem disproving your notions that swearing is "wrong".

Pertinent to my header; I'm currently writing a script for a full length Stalker SOC machinima. Frankly my script is uninspired, and I have formulated a lot of the material, instead of letting all of it come from creativity. I'm working on that, though I wanted to know what you guys think. I feel that the idea is a little trite, but here's the pitch.

Light bearer is a story about a character called Lucem Ferre, who is an experienced Stalker. His goal, initially, is to collect artifacts in the safer parts of the zone. However after an eye opening experience in Yantar Lucem Ferre feels that his purpose in the zone is to expose the wish granter for what it is. That's the skinny.

I've created something of a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uutish3n7kg">concept video</a>.

If you're interested read the script, tell me what you think of it. I'm open to any input, just so long as it's input I can use. I don't want to smear the Stalker fan base with a terrible fan movie, so tell me if you just straight out think the idea is dry. The script contains a hefty amount of swearing so if you're sensitive to swearing you may want to pass on this.


Light bearer

Characters:

-Lucem Ferre: Is the developing and main character. Lucem Ferre eventually figures out the truth about the wish granter, and figures out how to put and end to his troubles.

-Armand: He came to the zone in hopes of striking it rich by finding rare artifacts deep within the zone. He's easy going, but knows when to get his head into gear when it counts.

-Vigil: Leader of the freedom faction. He believes that the zone cannot simply be destroyed, and that there are riches in knowledge to be found within the zone, but that the zone is also a volatile entity.

-Misha: A ruthless, and merciless murderer. He shows no regard for human life, he's narcissistic and arrogant.

Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan video. (research actual disclaimers).

Music comes in with opening credits.


Armand: So the bar keep says, I've got mad bitches in there I'll only charge $50 bucks and you're in and out. So this fuckin' rookie sticks his head out, he's not even the least bit cautious, he hears music reverberating from the steel door. Purple lights comin' in through the crack, he's getting excited now. Bar keep tells him to keep his AK where he can see it so he confinskates it for the time being. Bar keep opens the door and lets the rookie in. The rookie walks about 5 ft in and notices nobody's there. The bar keep fuckin' slams the door shut behind the wanker! That's when the rookie panics, "hey man let me out of here, i'm going to kill you!" and etcetera. That's when he turns around to see 8 growling dogs. He pulls out his knife, and stands his ground, trembling, maybe even wet his pants. The dogs lunge for him, he stabs one of them in the neck, but didn't retract quick enough. One of the dogs bit him in the neck. He was eaten alive, poor bastard. He put his faith in the dogs. Well the bar keep wasn't lieing; he had mad bitches in there alright.

Rookie#1: Bullshit you are lieing.

Armand:Hey, I don't need another Sidrovich breathing down my neck. Cut that shit out.

Lucem Ferre: You're not telling them the legend are you?

Armand: Just planting a seed; next time something's too good to be true they'll think twice. Speaking about deals I-

Lucem Ferre: Look Armand, we've been collecting chump change in this sorry excuse of a camp for two weeks now. There's nothing around here except a few jelly fishes and wretcheds, maybe some yellow stones. We might find a couple of good stashes down the road, but this place is dry, it's a god damn training ground! I'm sick of hearing these bush wackers go on about how robust they are, as if they've ever been to the red forest, or come face to face with a blood sucker. These assholes they talk big, but wouldn't last more than 2 minutes against a pseudodog. That includes you, you wanted to strike an endless cache of artifacts, well than fucking do it man.. You lazy prick, uhhh "i'm gonna make it big man, one of these days".

Armand: 'One of these days' huh.

Lucem Ferre: Yeah, you know where you're going to be one of these days? One of these days you're going to be back in manchester drinking some tea with a lime in it, sitting on a lazy boy, watching the game while your old woman nags you to death. That's going to happen one of these days you quaker!

Armand: you know what man.. Fuck you.

Lucem Ferre: oh come on.

Armand: fuck you, I don't need this shit, I'll be at the pub.

Lucem Ferre: arghhh ahhh great, I'll have to wait until his fit weares off to go to Yantar. Wolf, do you have any missions?

Wolf: Wait a second (radios in) Alexsey, hold off on the attack. The bandits are back at the car park.

Lucem Ferre: Again? You guys should really put a death omen there or something. Well I guess if the bandits didn't keep coming back these rookies would be out of a job.

Wolf: Are you up for it or not?

Lucem Ferre: I'll do it.

Wolf: (radios in) Alexsey I'm sending someone over, he's not green this time, brief him when he gets there.

Alexsey: Okay wolfgang, send him in we're standing by.

Lucem Ferre: What do I get for doing this?

Wolf: you can choose between two carton of cigarettes and $1000.00 or I can give you 3 bottles of whiskey, and $1200.00. Make up your mind I don't have all day.

Lucem Ferre: I'll take the smokes.

Wolf: Okay, just let me mark you down for it. If you die of radiation poisoning, or anomalies then Stalker insurance will not cover you, here's your receipt. Now move your ass, it won't be too long now before those bandits set up a perimeter.

-lucem ferre meets up with alexsey-

Alexsey: Listen up men, there's about five maybe six of these bandits at the car park. They have lousy weapons at best, but at least one of them has a shotgun so watch your corners and stay behind cover.

Olman: Yes my marshal, as you say my general.

-fight happens-

Alexsey: over there on the balcony.

- Lucem Ferre shoots at him with ak74u -

-At the end of the battle someone yells out "point captured". The Camera fades out and fades in with the sound of a harmonica playing C:\Program Files (x86)\Valve\Steam\SteamApps\common\stalker shadow of chernobyl\gamedata\sounds\characters_voice\human_01\stalker\music-

narrator (southern accent): Someone once asked me when I was a little boy, what I was doing out in the middle of a rain storm, I took a moment and replied to the elderly lady, I said, "my mom had told me never to go out in the rain, because if I did than I would get lost, and never be able to find my way back home". Of course I did find my way back home. I just wanted to see what was so bad about moisture falling on my head.

Rookie#1: So then the guy says that's not a chicken that's my wife.

Rookie#2: I don't get it.

Rookie#1: Well you see umm.. Nevermind.

Lucem Ferre: Hey Pyotr.

Rookie#1: Hey marked one, I mean uhh, Lucem Ferre. Hey what kind of name is Lucem Ferre anyway?

Lucem Ferre: How much will you give me for 28 shot rounds and some cognac?

Rookie#1: I'll give you maybe 120 dollars.

Lucem Ferre: I know you Pyotr, you just sit by the fire all day playing hot potato, you're too cowardly to go out and find any of this stuff yourself. Make it 170 dollars.

Rookie#1: Listen, I can see that you work hard to get what you have, and I understand that, but I run a small business, if being coward means I stay alive than so be it, but I have to make it on my own as well. So I tell you what, you seem like nice guy I'll buy it for 150 dollars, how does that sound?

Lucem Ferre: 160 and we have a deal.

Rookie#1: Okay okay you play de hard ball you win, here take the money.

- Lucem sees Sidrovich -

Sidrovich: Come closer, I don't bite.. Or do I?

Lucem Ferre: Hey Sidrovich you have an imitator outside of your walls, has he been sucking your dick or something?

Sidrovich: Maybe.

Lucem Ferre: ughhh hmm, I need some things. I'm going to Yantar and I need enough goods to make the trip and back possibly. What do you recommend?

Sidrovich: I thought you were going with that friend of yours, what's his name Armadilo or somesing, uhhh Archie that's his name!

Lucem Ferre: Yeah well I'm reevaluating our partnership.

Sidrovich: well it's none of my business. As for your trip I recommend that you take 3 firefights worth of munitions, and 4 tinned cans. I have beans and pork, spaghetti, and tuna, which ones do you want?

Lucem Ferre: 250 5.56 NATO rounds, 2 beans and pork, one spaghetti, one tuna.

Sidrovich: that's about 1500 dollars.

Lucem Ferre: Alright thanks.

Sidrovich: Good hunting stalker, muahaha.

Rookie#1: So then the banker says "how much"!

Rookie#2: I don't get it.

Rookie#1: You're an idiot go jump in a hole or something.

Lucem Ferre: If anyone important asks, tell them I'm going to Yantar.

Script is a work in progress

Thanks for taking time to read through it all if you've come this far.
  20:20:25  18 October 2010
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BobBQ
2007-2017
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 07/30/2007
Messages: 3336

---QUOTATION---
I'm new to this forum, I'm unapologetic if I infringe on absurd rules in advance. Anything I write down henceforth is completely fine and could not be intellectually contested, I have no problem disproving your notions that swearing is "wrong".
---END QUOTATION---


I stopped reading at this point.
  20:23:12  18 October 2010
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Teh Soul Eater
I didn't do it.
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 03/21/2010
 

Message edited by:
Teh Soul Eater
10/18/2010 20:24:17
Messages: 1667
Calling the rules absurd just made Don Reba murder a homeless children shelter with a three course meal and a water proofed two by four.

For future reference, swearing is wrong.
  04:29:07  19 October 2010
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dayvour
(Novice)
 
On forum: 10/18/2010
 

Message edited by:
dayvour
10/19/2010 4:31:45
Messages: 4
Well I guess I know what kind of people I'm dealing with when it comes to creative discussion.

Why swearing is not wrong:

Swearing is a part of language. Language is something that changes over time. For example the term queer, is something or someone that is strange/odd, now of days many regard this term as being a synonym for male homosexual. HOWEVER of this particular point is IRRELEVANT.

Morality is subjective, "appropriate" language is one of the greatest examples of the collective stupidity of the mob. Which you, by not only abiding, but supporting invalid rules, makes you part of the problem when it comes to the social evolution of humanity. You are merely told what to do with your life, everything else that you have to figure out on your own doesn't stray far from esoteric morality. The agreeably of what is appropriate in language is subjective, for example; it's perfectly fine for me to say the word fuck within a conversation under the context of "what the fuck was bill doing?" it expresses the same feeling as this sentence would, "what the heck was bill doing?". It's not the same as "what was bill doing?" because the incorporation of a word like fuck or heck express condescension and concern, as opposed to just concern, and both fuck and heck express the exact same feeling.

Except people like you think that even though they both express the same feeling one is SOMEHOW phonetically displeasing for some INVALID reason. I'm sure you have no problem with watching pulp fiction or good fellas, why should my script be any different!?

OR PERHAPS LANGUAGE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR DISPLEASURE. Maybe you just don't like the dis-cordial way I expressed my defiance towards potentially absurd rules.

If you two were intellectuals in any form, than I'm certain you would have been able to deduce that I, in fact, did not specifically say that this forum's rules were absurd, what I really said was that any rules that I could have infringed as a result of posting a script with swearing in it was absurd. If this web site is against swearing within the context of A SCRIPT, than I want absolutely no affiliation with the cretins that administrate this forum.

The only reason I responded to your idiotic reaction was in the hopes that I could inspire you to THINK THINGS THROUGH. The phrase THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK STUPID, comes to mind.

I hope you have a horrible day after reading this.
  13:21:14  19 October 2010
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Do0mzday-Jesus
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 09/01/2009
Messages: 211
Idiotic reaction? Are you TRYING to get banned, dude? Insulting people isn't something that's allowed here, either.
  14:51:11  19 October 2010
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PCDania
The Dane
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 09/22/2007
Messages: 1958
Anyone going to throw out this troll?
  05:36:08  20 October 2010
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Teh Soul Eater
I didn't do it.
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 03/21/2010
Messages: 1667
This guy wants to be banned. He wants it. Swearing is unpleasant. It can be used to add to a post, but you're not using it like that in your script. Your using it as filler words. Simple as that. Read the rules man. Nobody would ever make an exception for a script. It's called decency. Which you seem to be lacking.

Btw, rules make things work. It's as simple as that. You want your script to work in a Machinima? Then people will have to follow your rules to make it work.
  06:31:56  20 October 2010
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Psynexus
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 04/15/2007
Messages: 490
I really didn't want to get involved with this but I feel it's become necessary.

Sure, the fact that he stated right off the bat that he wasn't going to adhere to certain rules he didn't agree with isn't the *best* way to start something off but give the guy a chance. It's ignorant to not even give him a chance because of the way he chooses to convey his writing.

Swearing in a lot of cases can simply be filler for effort - certain comedians are great examples - but in the Stalker universe especially, swearing is a great way to express extreme emotion. Admit it, you've probably used a curse word on accident when you got hurt or just blurted it out for whatever reason, it happens.

I'm not saying I agree with either side, but as a writer it's appalling to me to see other writers pre-judged because of a their unique methodology.

I'm not looking to start a war or call anyone out; give the guy a chance is all I'm saying.
  16:47:52  20 October 2010
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Cyrus Crashtest
(Novice)
 
On forum: 08/13/2010
Messages: 43

---QUOTATION---
I really didn't want to get involved with this but I feel it's become necessary.

Sure, the fact that he stated right off the bat that he wasn't going to adhere to certain rules he didn't agree with isn't the *best* way to start something off but give the guy a chance. It's ignorant to not even give him a chance because of the way he chooses to convey his writing.

Swearing in a lot of cases can simply be filler for effort - certain comedians are great examples - but in the Stalker universe especially, swearing is a great way to express extreme emotion. Admit it, you've probably used a curse word on accident when you got hurt or just blurted it out for whatever reason, it happens.

I'm not saying I agree with either side, but as a writer it's appalling to me to see other writers pre-judged because of a their unique methodology.

I'm not looking to start a war or call anyone out; give the guy a chance is all I'm saying.
---END QUOTATION---



Right on! - I don't even need to add to that!

The fact is if swearing were such a problem, any particular word could be screened when posting. Just take into account many other forums where to put the word 'arsenal' results in ****nal.

...and Dayvour - keep writing!
  19:05:21  20 October 2010
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Do0mzday-Jesus
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 09/01/2009
 

Message edited by:
Do0mzday-Jesus
10/20/2010 19:08:41
Messages: 211
Only reason I said anything was because he called the whole forum idiots.


I even somewhat dug his script, but his attitude needs to change. I don't respect guys who think they're too good for ANY rules, no matter how absurd they may seem. They're rules for a reason.
 
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