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Red Dawn

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  13:45:25  7 August 2010
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sgt.davis44
Scared shitless by Bloodsuckers
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 04/16/2010
 

Message edited by:
sgt.davis44
08/07/2010 20:55:55
Messages: 530
Red Dawn

I've started re-writing my story. It's new -ish, follows basically the same story but is totally different altogether. This is the third version of Chapter 1, the first you know, the second you never will know and the third you will meet in a few seconds Enjoy!

Chapter I
Part 1

It was a moonless night, a cold breeze blew in from the swamps, carrying the smell of dead grass and rotting murky water. Winter was approaching, the sky was clearer in the morning, the sun more orange. In the distance, the occasional gunshot could be heard, a signal to anyone close by of another soul in trouble. Out of the darkness, a man came running, his panting and heavy breaths a clear indication of his exhaustion. His right side was covered in blood, fresh blood. His face was bruised, his leg cut and limping. He had a torn and broken gas mask dangling away at his side. You wouldn't be able to recognise him. And he was obviously not on a stroll through the woods. A simple tree root in his way, caused him to curse under his breath. The man’s thoughts, swarming and drowning him, slowing him down.

Damn these things! I hate dreams and memories! All they do is destroy your life. At least it’s taking my mind off the pain surging through this “body” of mine every time my leg hits the ground. What on earth came over me that could possibly cause me to run away in the first place? What about the kids? I hope they’re OK, and if they’re not? Who’s to blame for that? Ugh! These questions! Just stop! Stop, stop, stop... I’m tired of this, I can’t take it! I’m such an idiot. I wish I knew this place, like some of those special people called “Guides”, then I’d be able to find those kids again. And my way back to the tunnel. I could get them out of here, back to their families. All my problems would fade away for my good deed. No one has to know about those people I killed in the swamp. If they find out, I can blame Snorks... OR Bloodsuckers! Yes! That’s a good idea! Blame those blood-sucking arseholes!

He started laughing hysterically, it was a laugh of someone who is no more than insane. The man kept running, despite the pain and his wavering strength and mental stability. Blindly stumbling forwards he went on, the thoughts too.

Such a pity, a small little animal scares me away. What sort of person am I? It’s too much too bear. First, my wife is shot and I’m the lead suspect, then the car I’m driving to this place crashes, then I land in the middle of a fight between some sort of group and another sort of group, then I meet these kids. Where they come from, heaven knows where! What are they doing here anyway?

Several minutes later, he reached a pair of train tracks, his destination was only a few hundred meters away. The friendly face of “The Bear” greeted him at the tunnel, which was past recognition and covered in grey anomalous plants and shrubs. Careful to avoid the dangling “leaves of death”, he entered. His feet splashing in water, the lantern he had lit up before all his had begun was still alight. His backpack lying on one of the endangered pieces of dry ground, he opened it, grabbed a loaf of bread and started gulping it down, it tasted heavenly, although he knew it was probably bad already but he hadn't eaten all day. His meal was interrupted again with a roar and heavy breathing, he grabbed his .357 checked the clip, grabbed a case of spare rounds and set off. Deeper into the abyss. 20 Feet inwards, the collapsed wall signified the spot he had to turn left, a small passage leading into the side. A disturbing sound behind him gave him new energy, but he had to look, he had to see what had been giving him these troubles. A large shadow fell across the wall, and illuminated by the lantern, a huge beast appeared.

Bloody Chimeras! Its this idiot that attacked me back there isn’t it!?

The man thought in rage as he carefully trod through the betrayingly noisy water, which he also knew was radioactive. He started walking down the side tunnel. If it wasn’t for his suit... He looked at the worn and dilapidated suit he was wearing. Although cut, it still did its job. So he hoped at least.

Such a waste, four months of travelling and doing dirty work for that fat bastard at the northern checkpoint had earned me this. And now, look at it! His thoughts were once again interrupted by snorting, answered by a purr like sound. Dammit! A mating pair! I hope they enjoyed their last mating ritual! Haha! They won’t get me, nothing will! Dead or alive, HA! And now they’re tearing through my rucksack, idiots! Oh no! My rucksack means absolutely nothing to me. Go ahead, tear it all you want. Its just a rucksack my wife gave me. No! Not important at all! But why didn’t I bring it with me? The canned meat? Its my fault! Everything is my fault, now it will be like sniff sniff and me in a corner. Noooo! not me! Not the famous “Sissy”! I don’t like corners! They’re dark, cold and lonely. You can’t get out of them, there are things in corners. Scary things...

The one animal snarled, the shadow turned around and started moving away. Faint voices could be heard not too far away. A loud gnarl followed by a roar and the clatter of machine gun fire. He was safe he thought.

Yeah leave you bitches! I hope you rot in hell! Hahahaha! But why would someone risk their lives by facing two of these things at night? It didn’t add up. Duty certainly wouldn’t walk around with just an AK when hunting Chimera’s would they? I’m OK. I’m still sane? I mean, if I can still think logically I must be fine

He grinned at the thought. The door handle was ice-cold, the texture and touch of rust greeted his hand. It made a loud screeching noise when the handle was turned, it needed oil. He opened it just far enough to be able to get through. Once inside, he let out a sigh. A bit too loud maybe, he was surprised to see stars through the roof and side. He just hoped that he was alone. A shuffling noise in the corner, a grunt and a can falling. And he knew he wasn’t safe, not safe at ALL...
  22:23:24  8 August 2010
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sgt.davis44
Scared shitless by Bloodsuckers
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 04/16/2010
 

Message edited by:
sgt.davis44
08/09/2010 10:51:41
Messages: 530
Chapter I
Part 2

It was an exhausting day Sgt. Petrenov thought as he and his squad moved to the tunnel entrance. Their HQ had ordered them to track down this S.T.A.L.K.E.R, codename "Insane Sissy". He was part of one of "the things that the other things were investigating and that they were not allowed to know about" subjects. They had found him in the swamps, trudging through the water with two kids tagging along. They had followed them here, to this tunnel. That was a week ago. They've been watching them, the orders to retrieve him were never give. Untill noon today. They had followed him from Yanov Station all the way to his living area in the swamps. With nightfall, something which never should have happened did. Gold section was moving in to take him down, when he and the two kids came running out of the cave. Baffled they went to investigate and sent one man to track him. Inside was nothing except their lantern, mattresses and supplies. Everything abandoned. A rat scurried along the wall. Its red eyes piercing so deep it felt as if a wave of nausea and confusion swept over you. But was it possible that such a small thing could scare them away? Its well known that these zone rats did nothing but nibble your clothing and food. The questions and situation baffled him.

"Sir? You okay?"
"Huh!?"
"You're a little deep in thought. Fokus doodle!"
Sgt. Petrenov shook his head and smiled at this Irishman.
"Yeah, but from now on I'm the one shouting at YOU! Understood?"
"Yes sir, right sir, of course sir"
The former marine looked on.
"Oorah!"
"Alpha Two-zero. The target is approaching the tunnel. He just passed the train tracks, over."
"Roger 247. Thanks for the assist."
"No problem sir."
The conversation was interrupted by a bloodcurdling howl.
"247, 247! What was that? Could you see?"
"Sir?"
"Yeah!?"
"We've got a problem..."
"Could you cut the shit and tell us what's going on!?"
"Its Jackson sir... He's dead"

Jackson Leeroy Devonshire was walking through a swamp when it happened. His names always seemed like a funny combination. He knew the Devonshire was his family name and that the Devonshire was a British warship but that’s it. Why his parents needed to give him that could only confuse anyone thinking about it. He had had a rough childhood, grew up very poor. He wasn't very good with academical work. At 18 he joined the US Military, then the Marines. Oorah!. His career was cut short when they caught him smuggling weapons from the armoury. They didn't know how, but he knew he did. He escaped to South Africa where he was recruited by a PMC Contactor. He had another short tour in Afghanistan where they were sent in to locate a "package". Afterwards, 2 of the guys were dead, another 3 hospitalized. What was in that package no one knew. Except that someone from Kiev in the Ukraine had contracted his firm to retrieve it. A small splash behind him made him spin around. His eyes searched the darkness. He has been trained not to believe things are mind games. Because they're most probably not. A small movement caught his eye. It was almost invisible. As if a small piece of glass had just moved. He fired two shoots at the reeds. Nothing. Just then, a loud and deafening sound rung out. He caught the movement again. He tried to get a lead on whatever was circling him, two bright-ish dots moving around. His mag wasted, he pulled out his pistol. He lost it, he could still hear its breathing. He saw something run at him from his side, he fired. Blood spat into the air, coming from nowhere. A large red stain in the night rushing forwards, he hit the ground with a dull thud. He turned on his stomach to get up, it was his futile mistake. Something grabbed him from behind. It felt like tentacles, with teeth. Sharp teeth. It pierced his skin. He screamed at the top of his lungs, and blew out his last breath as the blood was dripping. The sound of it hitting the water a staccato rhythm. The green murky water turned dark red, just another soul lost to the zone, just spilt blood.

"Ahw shit!"
Irishman fell back as two large creatures jumped from the tunnel, Petrenov's AK blasting away. The creature gnarled in angry astonishment. They disapeared into the night, not a trace of their existence left except the slight cut on Ire’s arm.
"What the bloody hell was that!?" Irishman shouted, his breathing heavy.
"Chimeras. Grimey, Matt! Watch our backs. We don't want a nasty surprise once we're inside. Let's move."
"You got a flare?"
"Yeah, toss it up!"
The flare lit up the cavernous space, orange-red light dancing on the walls. The flare sizzled and flickered.
"Its too quiet. As if they're waiting for us"
"What sir?"
"What what?"
"The what that is waiting?"
"What are you on about!? Its just a finish to the line Ire."
"Oh. That's what 'what' is. Hmm..."
"Right, cut the chatter. Switch to night vision. Ire, take the left, Silver, take right."
The squad moves silently through the tunnel. Guns ready, the whine of the night vision sets the only disturbance.
"No, aha! We can't go further. Its blocked off."
"No shit Silver! Its just a collapsed roof with tons of bricks, concrete and dirt in front of us. As I said, nothing!"
"There is a side tunnel here sir. With a big steel door at the end. I could swear it was just used."
"Right. Silver, stay here. Ire, on m..."
The silence was disturbed, despite the whine. A can falling to the ground is rather distinguishing, it can't be mistaken. And the wind is certainly not gonna do something NOW, when it already could have done so in who knows how many years. Something was there. They thought it was their man, they were wrong...
  22:48:21  8 August 2010
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belizarius
Strelok Holmes
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 09/02/2009
Messages: 222
Nice, I like your writting style

One question : is this Insane sissy the main character ?
  22:54:25  8 August 2010
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woopersnaper
A lone wonderer with his trusty Vintar and leather trench coat
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 03/26/2010
Messages: 292
Nice! Very interesting story from a fellow South African! That's right, you're not the only South African here!
  00:05:57  9 August 2010
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sgt.davis44
Scared shitless by Bloodsuckers
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 04/16/2010
Messages: 530

---QUOTATION---
Nice! Very interesting story from a fellow South African! That's right, you're not the only South African here!
---END QUOTATION---


Yay! I hoped I wasn't. I was in the Kruger Park this past holiday and was thinking about what mutants you'd get there. And what I'd do there... I also thought of Koeberg. Walking around a mutated cape, ahw.


---QUOTATION---
Nice, I like your writting style

One question : is this Insane sissy the main character ?
---END QUOTATION---


No, but you'll hear about him later on, and his importance.

And thank you
  00:18:11  9 August 2010
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woopersnaper
A lone wonderer with his trusty Vintar and leather trench coat
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 03/26/2010
Messages: 292

---QUOTATION---
Nice! Very interesting story from a fellow South African! That's right, you're not the only South African here!
Yay! I hoped I wasn't. I was in the Kruger Park this past holiday and was thinking about what mutants you'd get there. And what I'd do there... I also thought of Koeberg. Walking around a mutated cape, ahw.

Nice, I like your writting style

One question : is this Insane sissy the main character ?
No, but you'll hear about him later on, and his importance.

And thank you
---END QUOTATION---



Chimera-lion, maybe? Pseudo-Elephant?
  00:26:27  9 August 2010
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sgt.davis44
Scared shitless by Bloodsuckers
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 04/16/2010
 

Message edited by:
sgt.davis44
08/09/2010 0:30:21
Messages: 530

---QUOTATION---
Chimera-lion, maybe? Pseudo-Elephant?
---END QUOTATION---


The lion will probably be manageable if you notice it before it becomes invisible. Just imagine the roar! And think about it: They already have problems with elephants, think what would happen if they're pseudo too! Its like, "There is nothing left! goddamn tree trampellers... or stompers for that matter."

Oh, I added a bit to the second part of chapter 1
  19:54:56  13 August 2010
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sgt.davis44
Scared shitless by Bloodsuckers
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 04/16/2010
Messages: 530
Something is wrong. I can't edit my posts in the rest of the thread . I might need to change stuff, and te order isn't quite complete yet =O

Short, very short little section.
Chapter I - Las Cinco Muertes
Part 3

Something was wrong. I had been followed, stalked and hunted. They were after me. However, it seemed as if they wanted me alive, something they were gonna struggle to do. I grinned. It was the best I could do. My face was tired and stressed, I have not had water for two days now. I looked up, there was something glinting in the darkness. To my left a loud roar rang up. I knew it all too well, another sucker catching its prey. I looked over the swamp, squinted into the sharp light coming from a spotlight on the ship. It was my only hope. I wasn’t welcome there. Not because the barman didn’t want me, it was the trader and his... Uh, “accomplices”. How better to describe him as a bandit? He was like the fat bastard at the Cordon. Buying stuff for a half of what they’re worth, and then selling it for three times the amount.

Something struck me as weird when I approached the ship. I could spot a guy squatting behind the floodlight, binoculars in hand. Perfectly positioned as to not be seen. It was only as a thanks to my angle that I could make him out. To my rear, several bursts rang out, the muzzle flashes only just visible through the fog rolling in through the landscape. The river, or swamp for that matter, twisted in a horse-shoe shape, it was an area known as Zaton. Boring, scary and filled with things you didn’t want to run into in daylight, even less so at bight when only their eyes made them anything at all visible. Terribly efficient hunters they are. I had my silenced 5-by-39 rifle still in my hands. The guard on deck didn’t take too well to this.

“Stalker! This here place is as peaceful as it gets! So holster that shooter of yours and keep it that way”
“Yeah yeah! In a minute ‘Seva man’. Thos western guns you have there must be a terror to maintain out here.”
“Do you want a photo?”
This strange question baffled me beyond sub-conscious levels.
“Uh, yeah why not?” I had to say something.
“Then look here, smile and wait for the flash!” The stalker bellowed and almost fell ‘overboard’ as he laughed, just after gesturing to his weapon.
“Harold! Leave the rookie alone will ya?” A new voice shouted from behind the corner.
“Petya, I doubt he’s a rookie man”
“Why do ya say that!?”
“Well, lets see” Just before he could start naming my very very impressive equipment I cut him short.
“Hey! Wake up! Cut the chit chat and let me come aboard. There’s a bloodsucker out there.”
“Boo! Hahaha, Are you scared of vampires or somin?” He burst out in laughter again. Probably some rich kid newbie with sugar parents somewhere in the line. Carrying his “guns of quality” just to look experienced and good. Frankly, I hoped he would meet a sucker in the near future. I stared at him in silence.
“Ok, you can come up. But one false move and you don’t want to know what” he started. I calmly replied:
“Or what? You’re gonna shoot me? If you haven’t noticed, I’m wearing a SEVA suit, one in better quality and condition than yours by the way. One I worked for actually.” He became quiet. It wasn’t even a scary phrase or something meant to impress, but I’d soon find out what had really caused him to be quiet...
  20:33:00  13 August 2010
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woopersnaper
A lone wonderer with his trusty Vintar and leather trench coat
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 03/26/2010
Messages: 292

---QUOTATION---
Something is wrong. I can't edit my posts in the rest of the thread . I might need to change stuff, and te order isn't quite complete yet =O

Short, very short little section.
Chapter I - Las Cinco Muertes
Part 3

Something was wrong. I had been followed, stalked and hunted. They were after me. However, it seemed as if they wanted me alive, something they were gonna struggle to do. I grinned. It was the best I could do. My face was tired and stressed, I have not had water for two days now. I looked up, there was something glinting in the darkness. To my left a loud roar rang up. I knew it all too well, another sucker catching its prey. I looked over the swamp, squinted into the sharp light coming from a spotlight on the ship. It was my only hope. I wasn’t welcome there. Not because the barman didn’t want me, it was the trader and his... Uh, “accomplices”. How better to describe him as a bandit? He was like the fat bastard at the Cordon. Buying stuff for a half of what they’re worth, and then selling it for three times the amount.

Something struck me as weird when I approached the ship. I could spot a guy squatting behind the floodlight, binoculars in hand. Perfectly positioned as to not be seen. It was only as a thanks to my angle that I could make him out. To my rear, several bursts rang out, the muzzle flashes only just visible through the fog rolling in through the landscape. The river, or swamp for that matter, twisted in a horse-shoe shape, it was an area known as Zaton. Boring, scary and filled with things you didn’t want to run into in daylight, even less so at bight when only their eyes made them anything at all visible. Terribly efficient hunters they are. I had my silenced 5-by-39 rifle still in my hands. The guard on deck didn’t take too well to this.

“Stalker! This here place is as peaceful as it gets! So holster that shooter of yours and keep it that way”
“Yeah yeah! In a minute ‘Seva man’. Thos western guns you have there must be a terror to maintain out here.”
“Do you want a photo?”
This strange question baffled me beyond sub-conscious levels.
“Uh, yeah why not?” I had to say something.
“Then look here, smile and wait for the flash!” The stalker bellowed and almost fell ‘overboard’ as he laughed, just after gesturing to his weapon.
“Harold! Leave the rookie alone will ya?” A new voice shouted from behind the corner.
“Petya, I doubt he’s a rookie man”
“Why do ya say that!?”
“Well, lets see” Just before he could start naming my very very impressive equipment I cut him short.
“Hey! Wake up! Cut the chit chat and let me come aboard. There’s a bloodsucker out there.”
“Boo! Hahaha, Are you scared of vampires or somin?” He burst out in laughter again. Probably some rich kid newbie with sugar parents somewhere in the line. Carrying his “guns of quality” just to look experienced and good. Frankly, I hoped he would meet a sucker in the near future. I stared at him in silence.
“Ok, you can come up. But one false move and you don’t want to know what” he started. I calmly replied:
“Or what? You’re gonna shoot me? If you haven’t noticed, I’m wearing a SEVA suit, one in better quality and condition than yours by the way. One I worked for actually.” He became quiet. It wasn’t even a scary phrase or something meant to impress, but I’d soon find out what had really caused him to be quiet...
---END QUOTATION---




More,more,MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  15:51:40  17 November 2010
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Colonel Skull
(Senior)
 
On forum: 11/07/2010
Messages: 95
Moar plz? This stuff is awesome , i've been alot on these forums recently and i have been reading many stories, yours is in the top five.
 
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