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  08:02:15  19 December 2009
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Ghost_22
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 10/28/2009
 

Message edited by:
Ghost_22
12/20/2009 9:22:15
Messages: 429
The Ghosts

Alright this is my first attempt at writhing a story that alot of people could read so dont expect to it be to the level of the others on here.

Heres a little prologue iall see what yall thank before i wright alot

Prologue

The year was 2007 a new crop of students just graduate many had dreams of collage others came from families that were so rich that they would never have to do anything for the rest of there lives. Me and a few others had none of these we came from families that could never pay for a collage tuition. They barely made enough money to pay the bills that keep rising and rising thanks to the growing economic problems in the nation.I lost contact with most of my class mate but the few that were like me at one point we all had the same job in the oilfield until it also stopped then I bounced around from job to job trying to support my family that was slowly dieing under the weight of bills.Till one day it collapsed my parents died in a car crash and I sold the small family business then the house to pay for there basic funeral my friends from my class meet after the funeral and we talked about a story we read in the paper how the army was looking for a few able body men for an experiment of sorts.

We had nothing better too do since we were all poorer that poor most of them were like me homeless so we went down to the army base near town the next day and signed up for this program. There were hundreds of people there signing up for this program becuse of the pay it was going to give for three years of service you would be payed a hundred thousand dollars for each year of service. We got threw basic amazingly we passed with flying colors we all scored expert on marksmen ship and the physical fitness courses out of the two hundred people who went to basic we and twelve others were the only ones who scored high enough on all things to make to the next level of training.We were called to a massive airfield with hundreds of transports, jets, and many other vehicles I couldn't tell you what the were for. We meet a officer that said we were going to be transported in two helicopters to a special forces base in South Carolina which meant that we twelve we ether going to ranger school or sniper training now one told us.

At noon we grabbed are gear and loaded on to two Chinook helicopters we were crammed in with a load of equipment it looked like several crates ammo the flight for us wasent that event full the other helicopter had mechanical problems and had to divert back to the base we finally landed unloaded are gear and were told to report to a briefing for us at 0600 the next morning rest of the night was the usual yelling drill Sargent runs to the top of a short mountain just south of the base.We awoke to the sounds of the range be used my a training group that was doing a live fire exercise. We arrived at the administration building for the base we were immediately escorted to a small conference room with four officers they all had serious looks on there faces we stood at the front of a long oak table as the stared as us then too a stack of folders on the table after about ten minuets of these on the the people with us asked what the hell we were here for.One of the officers stood up and said "I am Captain Jonathon Iverson I am the reason you twelve individuals are here you all were picked for a special training course me and these other officers have designed in lue of a inseadent that nuclear weapons were used by a terror organisation on are troops in the field and we need to continue fighting to get any wounded out".I thought about what he said and it just didnt make any since i knew the army already had unites designed for this purpose already but i didnt say nothing we got a standard briefing on what were expected to do how to do certain things moved on to a standard special forces training about 7 or 8 months we were ready for combat.Are twelve man class was cut in half due to injures and some just couldn't make it threw the training.

On graduation day we were brought be for the commander of the whole "experiment"for examination durring his speech some intelligent officer comes running in saying something about some nuclear power plant in Ukraine had exploded or something causing massive radioactive fallout around the area. We were ordered to leave the building and go back to the barracks.When we got back to barrack Jimmy are technician looked up the news about the explosion he found very little about it mostly some tall tales of mutated thing were seen chasing away people from the plant others about "anomaly's" that crushed apc like beer cans other nonsense stuff.Few days later we were called in to the commanders offices he had us take a seat as he rose up and pulled down a map of Ukraine. "Boys I dont like it but you six are the only people trained in combat and hazmat" I said "sir with all due respect I am tired of all these were the only ones crap I know that large units in this army have been trained in hazmat and combat scene everyone had to go threw basic first tell us what the hell we just spent months traning for.He stared at me for a few minuets then finally spoke he said" your group here is trained so we could seen your squad in to get nukes and other WMDs if we found them in the possession of terrorist you few are called the only ones because your squads sole purpose is this now if your threw complaining ial will go on about your first mission "


thats the end for the most part of the prologue I will probably wait for comments before I continue
  22:39:26  21 December 2009
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Ghost_22
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 10/28/2009
Messages: 429
Anyone have a opinion on this thing
  09:17:43  23 December 2009
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Ghost_22
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 10/28/2009
Messages: 429
Alright had major problem Word isn't wanting to work for some reason and I had the next two parts ready to go so I am going to change the story from my original idea to something a little different but its basically what it was going to be so hopefully enjoy.

2 years later Great Swamps
The morning sun slowly raises as lone figure of a man in a severely worn U.S. issue "stalker" suit slowly climbing a rickety tower. "man am I tired of hunting this renegade squad leader " I thank to my self if he's doesn't give me a shot today Iam going attack that place my self. The stalker finally reaches the top of the old watch tower he sits his trusty M24 on a box as he sits up his sniper hide again. A light sprinkling of rain starts to be heard on the old steel roof of the tower. Another wonderfully day in the zone I mumble to my self as I slide my rifle in too the slot I made into a old crate.A low rumble of distant thunder echoes across the swamps good made that will cover up the sound of of my shot if I get one today. He starts to glass the area his target is in its a what was rumored to be a old pumping station he spies the usually four men guarding the place one on the roof two in front one roaming around.

After four hours the sun is at its highest point not long before it will be in my eyes I thank. A mountain of a man appears among the men climbs too the roof caring a heavy machine gun and begins setting it up facing towards the tower.There he is hmm wonder why he's bring out the heavy artillery suddenly the stalker's pda comes to life "This is Clear Sky squad b were are going to remove the renegade scum from the pumping station any stalkers in the area willing to help you will be compensated for your time" pda goes silent. Well I mines well help them out the stalker pulls out a worn note book marked ranges begins pulls out a worn range finder and prosedes to checks the ranges in the book to the points around the station.He takes a seat on a box get his rifle ready and pikes up his pda and speaks to the squad "This is Ghost I will aid your group in taking out the scum I am in the tower by the fishing village attack when the men on the roof fall copy" a few second later the same voices as before says "We copy will begin attack when men on the roof fall glad to have your help Ghost" a small grin comes across the stalkers face didn't thank my name was heard of in these swamps.Few low clicks are heard as the knobs on his scope are slowly dialed in a thunder begins to grow in loudness almost as if the zone know whats about to happen the stalker takes a few slow breaths then the quiet of the tower is broke by a thunders boom of a single shot the finely tuned reflex's of the marksmen barrly react to the shot the heavy grain bullet tears down range towards it target enjoying its freedom few seconds later it slams into the man with the machine guns chest exiting out the other side.The stalker quickly moves to the second man another shot thunders out removing half the seconds man head from the force of the impact the squad storms the place few shots are heard as the remaning men are eliminated.

The stalkers pda comes to life "Thanks Ghost come by the base and you will be rewarded handsomely for this" the stalker smiles at a job well done
Iam getting more than what Duty's contract on that man goings to bring I thank to my self as I contact Duty on a mission complete.

more tomorrow comment on the newer style
  20:20:23  23 December 2009
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QuaNTuMbenxh
Albanian Monsteя!
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 10/05/2008
Messages: 918
It is all good, I just dont want to discourage you, but some things like meet should be said like met. Because you cannot say the Sgt. meet us, you say the Sgt. met us... I hope you can notice the difference, apart from the few mistakes, it is wonderful

Go on and continue
  01:42:21  24 December 2009
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Ghost_22
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 10/28/2009
 

Message edited by:
Ghost_22
12/24/2009 21:03:26
Messages: 429
Quantum
i see the difference and alot of the mistakes Glad someone likes it

After typing out a short message to the Duty officer who ordered the the mans death the stalker puts away his pda and gos to work dismantling his hide ten minuets later hes done.The faint sound of boots on the steel steps reach the ears of the stalker over the now pouring rain he quickly pulls his worn colt out of its holster and move quickly behind a crate.A short stalky man come into view "Ghost you up here I heard your rifle" I recognize the mans voice and put my pistol back in its holster "Ah Tank I was wondering when Id see your ugly mug again. Tank laughs " Your one to talk with the mark of a bloodsucker around your neck" I feel the the scar and smile 'yeah well what the hell you doing in the swamps last I heard you were helping the eggheads with there mutant studies.Tanks smiles "I was then I heard you were here figured Id come see a old friend" "I didn't know you cared". The two stalker laugh then Ghost gathers his gear "lets head to clear sky's base I got a little reward coming" I say "Alright" Tank agrees.

A hour later they arrive at clear sky's hidden base "Tank go gets us some drinks from Cold I am gonna go over to Docent and see about my reward"Tank heads towards Cold's bar. As I pass by the first campfire I hear the familiar telling of a story Iav heard many a time never actually heard the hole thing but it always starts with the usual well I heard it from a guy who was there or I heard it from a guy who meet him on and on its the legend of the stalker who attacked a bloodsucker den to get someone out with just a knife and how he got his scar its probably toughed up on the action all I did was rescue a Loner who got trapped in dark valley nothing really exciting about other than when I came out I had my stalker name for when I came out dragging him by the collar of his jacket I was as pale as a ghost from the blood I lost from the bloodsucker bite. I reach Docent's shop he greets me"Ah Ghost a little birdy told me you were in the area come for your award"I smile "Yes I did and I need a few med kits" He gos back to a little room and comes out with a duffel bag containing a brand new VSS Vintorez sniper rifle, ammo and a ghillie kit and three med kits.I smile at the bounty in front of me" how much for the med kits"he grins and says"For what you did for are boys their on the house". I gin and take the stuff and head back towards Colds.

Few hours later of drinks and talking with Cold and Tank Ghost stumbles over to the old barracks and finds a bunk to sleep in.Just as he's about to fall asleep hes pda sounds as some military chatter is heard "This is the commanding officer of the cordon out post this is a bounty alert for the stalker named Strelok a bounty of twenty thousand rubles and freedom from the zone will be given to the man or men who bring me the head of this man to commander Vladamir Strovoskie " Ghost smiles I doubt anyone is that dumb or desperate to get out of here he thanks as he falls asleep.

I awake early the next morning to the sound of sleet bouncing off the roof and the smell of something be cooked over the near by fire I check my gear as I alway do then walk over to the fire to warm up and see whats cooking.Tank greets me" morning you look like you slept on a rock my friend" as he hands me a cup of his alway too strong coffee. I take a swig from the cup "God your coffee is awful I bet you could take paint off with it" he smiles "it wakes you up don't it" as he looks to the breakfast he was cooking for the small group that was awake this early.Funny thing about him if just meet him you'd never guess he was a chef for some restaurant in states somewhere.I take in who's around the fire most were rookies who probably didn't sleep a wink but one I noticed was the Duty officer who gave me the mission to kill the squad leader.I go over to him "what you doing here Sgt" I say taking another drink of coffee he recognize me and stands and says " I came to give you your reward and to see it you wanted another task"he hands me a small container with jellyfish in it.

I take the container and say " Depends on who or what Duty wants done in" He says "We need a team of mercs in Dark Valley eliminated that were supples to spy on Freedom for us but they have yet to performer there duty so we want to teach the mercs a lesson" I thank about it for a minuet and finally say "how many are they ,where are they and how much do I get paid to do this".A big smile comes over him as he says" Always straight to it theres five there at the farm complex at the western most end you will be paid very well for this" he salutes me and walks off towards east.I go over to Tank " You wanna help me on a little mission for Duty I just took" he hands me a plate of food "You didn't need to ask me to help you with anything when you want to leave" I look over the plate at what looked could possibly be fried spam "I would like to leave as soon as possible I need to meet a guy in cordon about fixing my m4 carbine" he gives me a thumbs up as he eats. I head towards Docent's shop to sell my newly acquired jellyfish.

When I get back to the fire I see a few rookies gathering up their gear."Tank why those rookies getting there gear together""They want us to take them to the Loner camp in Agroprom"I frown at the idea of babysitting them" what they going to give us for helping them get their". He smiles "figured you wouldn't want to do it for free the tall one there showed me some artifacts they got he said he would trade three for our help"I look at him with a look of annoyance "You tell them the rules about traveling with us" he nods
and walks over starts gathering up his gear.I go and get my bags and go tell the rookies we leave in twenty minutes with them or without.
  07:57:24  31 December 2009
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Ghost_22
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 10/28/2009
Messages: 429
should this story continue if so Give me y'all thoughts on it so far its hard to keep going When no one give any thought on progress i dont expect a following like the other story's on here but I'd like to know is some one like's this thing or not in other word, i like some Feed back.
  10:27:05  31 December 2009
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blackpapermoon
(Novice)
 
On forum: 12/30/2009
Messages: 7
No, keep going it sounds like a killer story. An American soldier in the Zone living like a mercenarie of sorts. This is a very good start. Just some suggestions you might want to look into is perhaps getting or using some kind of text to speech program. That should help you find many more grammatical issues that you might not see. Also you just need to remember to start a new paragraph when using dialog or just space it out some so it's easier for the reader to read.

Just to cover my butt, I am by no means an English major, and I also am entirely useless with out spell checker. Yet I do enjoy writing and reading other peoples writings and critiques
  03:44:22  6 January 2010
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Ghost_22
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 10/28/2009
Messages: 429
expect more in the next day or so

blackpapermoon
thanks for the interest Im limited to just typing it out on here sense Microsoft word quit me the last time i typed on it.
  08:46:10  19 January 2010
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Ghost_22
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 10/28/2009
 

Message edited by:
Ghost_22
01/19/2010 22:28:55
Messages: 429
Sorry about the delay real life kicked in and Iav been away Ial try and make this update a long one to make up for it

10:00 swamps
A hour and thirty minutes later the group of five stalkers lead by Ghost and Tank finally exit out of the thick brush surrounding clear sky's base begin their march toward the small fishing hamlet that clear sky had claimed as a outpost of such it was the only real standing complex in the swamps that was mostly solid other than the mechanic yard to the north.Ghost stops and raised his hand signaled the group to stop.

"Whats up" Tank says "listen I thank I hear gun fire at the hamlet"I say
"Tank you bring up the rooks about twenty feet behind me I gonna move up quick when you get to the brigde just south of it move them to large building with the boat sticking out in to the swamp ok"

Tank signals to the rookies and tells them the plan as I sprint threw the thick brush and knee deep mud the sounds of aks and nato weapons boom louder and louder as I get closer and closer suddenly a tree stump in front of me explodes as the massive report of a Fifty cal rifle reaches my ears from its source about Three hundred yard north of the Hamlet. I quickly dive behind the only cover I see that will stop the massive round its what looks like a concrete road barrier I quickly unwrap my rifle from its sheaf as I yell at Tank.
"stop theres a sniper somewhere to the north I need someone to glass him for me" Tank stops the group yells at them to take cover and anyone that has scope or binoculars to start looking to north.

One of the rookies yells " I see Him he's in the tower to the north" I yell back "whats the range" as I crawl my way to the end of the barrier "about two fifty" as I hear as another round pounds the top of the barrier I quickly adjust my rifle for two sixty as I finally reach the end of the barrier.I quickly take aim at the tower searching for him as I feel hes not that experienced as he should of had me on the first shot.I finally see the tell tell reflexion off his scope from the sun.I adjust my scope quickly for the windage take a few slow breaths then fire one shot it slams into him I see his rifle fall over I yell "all clear lets move I still hear the fighting at the hamlet" as i quickly rewrap my rifle.

I start my sprint to the hamlet by the time we reach there the fightings dulled down to the speratic firing at the retreating attackers I look around at the dead and see that all of the attackers are Mercenary's from one of the most feared merc factions I say to my self
" why the hell are the skulls here in the swamps" the out post commander hears me and says
"they wanted information on some stalker from the states we said the only ones from the states thats survived the zone longer than a few weeks all stayed in cordon why would we know about them in the swamps"
I smile at the statement as I can guess what happened next

"Rooks take a weapon and ammo from the dead mercs we move out in fifteen"I walk over to Tank and tell him about what I found out and figure out our next move. After five minuets of discussing about where we should go we finally decide that we should take the long way to Agroprom instead of using the quick way of crossing the swamps.I ask the leader of the out post if the way too cordon was clear he says no there is a large group of renegades that just took the church and the small farmstead as these mercs attacked them here.I tell Tank to tell the rooks about what we were going to do and to loose any heavy gear for were going to need to move fast to get by the renegades in the way.

Few hours later the group reaches the extremely battered cave that leads to cordon years of emissions hasn't been kind to the caves walls and celling huge stones lay across the ground in a few spots if it wasn't just getting dark you could see the sunlight threw the many holes in the celling...

continued when I get time later today as always feedback welcome
  08:33:21  22 January 2010
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Ghost_22
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 10/28/2009
 

Message edited by:
Ghost_22
01/22/2010 21:19:30
Messages: 429
The tunnel smelled of death worser than ever the creepy glow of many a new anomaly.The ragged rookies looked like they were about to drop one of them spoke up

"when can we stop wev been walking for hours"I turn around and yell at him "All you have done is fing complain every thirty minutes on the way across the swamps when wer gonna stop when wer gonna stop if we wernt so close too the cordon outpost I would shoot you and leave you where you drop".The tall rookie hits the one iam yelling at in the back of the head."Dimitri shut up iam almost ready to let him put you out of our misery".

With that that the group is quiet all except Tank who his laughing so hard that he looks like hes about too pass out " Whats so damn funny Tank" in between gasps for air and laughter Tank says" Just remembering the last time you threaten a rook like that he was so scaret he crap his pants and didn't say another word for our whole trip".
I let a smile grow on my face at the thought of that rookie he was about twice my size witch was probably what made it so funny."Yeah well lets get moving I don't want to spend another night in this tunnel like we did the last time we led a group threw here".The group slowly moves threw the tunnel dodging falling rocks and anomaly fields they finally reach the end at midnight.

"Aright lets take this slow we don't want to be spotted by the military"I take out my night vision optic and attach it to my rifle and begin trying to find out where the petrols are strangely I see none." We do this in two groups Tank you take Dimitri and the tall one Ial take the kid". I take one last look threw my scope as Tank's group moves up closer to the mouth of the tunnel I signal them to go as I take a look at the kids gear to make sure he had it all stoled in a way that wouldn't make a racket.Tank reaches a large falling down tree just to the left of the tunnel about sixty yards and signals me with a special pen light that can only be seen with night vision.Me and the kid quickly run out of the tunnel I go down the fence trying to stay away from the center of the the kid runs in between two large rocks he makes it half way to a tree when all of a sudden a large spot like lights up the area just in front of him.Tank yell at him to run for the tree he runs like the wind probably the fast Iav ever seen some one run caring as much as he was and being probably only eighteen or nineteen.

I make my run as the machine gun lights up a path right behind the kid as I run I hear the sound of a rpg leaving its home it nales a tree just to the left of the tree Iam running too I feel the force of the blast knocking me over the tree the rest of them are hiding be hind.I hear Tank yelling I can feel something burring in my leg and down my left side slight taste of blood I try to get up but Tank shoves me down he says something but I cant understand him after a couple of minuets I blackout.

I awake to the sounds of someone screaming I look around to see Iam in a basement at the rookie base looking around I see the source of the screaming a young stalker by looks of the burns had wondered in to a burner anomaly. His cloths wer badly burnt and his plastic jack looked like it was melted to him.I try to sit up but Iam stopped well short as horrific pain comes from my ribs. I look down and see that my ribs are rapped and a large blood stain was showing threw on the left side.
I also see that my leg is bandage in sever places from my calf up to my thigh with the bandage at my calf showing the most blood. After about five minuets of near constant screaming from the rookie he goes quiet I look at him and see that hes still alive but his crying. Few minuets later a stalker comes down the stairs caring a large bag with a red cross on it he sets it down on the table next to me and gos over to the kid and pulls out a small container containing a Meat Chunk he puts in it on the stalker I thank to my self "at least it will help him some it wont make him perfect but it will help". The stalker proceeds to slowly pill the the kids jacket off as the kids screaming at him to stop.

About a thirty minuets later he has all he can off he comes over to me and checks the bandages around my ribs and tells me I had about a pound of shrapnel in my leg and side and badly broken and cracked ribs and light internal bleeding but it stopped rather quickly once I was laid downed on the bed. I ask him about the others he said they were fine expect for Dimitri who was shot up pretty good but he was expected to live. He left a few bandages and helped me to a siting position on a old musty smelling couch in the corner I asked him where my gear was he said it was with the rest of my group I asked him to go get me a shirt from it and another pair of pants he agreed and came back about ten minuets with what I asked and Tank carrying Dimitri over to the bed I was in.

any comments good or bad appreciated
 
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