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On the journey back home

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  18:22:41  11 October 2003
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ToRmEnToR
(Senior)
 
On forum: 08/26/2003
Messages: 116
On the journey back home

read it here:

http://www.stalker-game.com/df_community_contest_story_read.php?id=76

comments would be gladly accepted...

PS. yeah, i know that this story is similar to the story "The Long Walk Back" , only read it after i have written mine...
  04:33:36  12 October 2003
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Amoki
back with a vengeance
(V.I.P.)

 

 
On forum: 07/31/2003
Messages: 1729
Well, 1 thing for sure- your paragraphing really sucks. You didn't made a slightest effort to do your sentence into paragraph. Your story structure was a complete shamble. Although your plot is clear, the way you express it is really terrible. I am afraid I can only give you a four, and that is already quite high for this story. You must really work on it. But hey, anytime you want advice, the people in this part of the forum are willing to give one.
  06:41:44  12 October 2003
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Icarus Nine
(Senior)
 
On forum: 09/23/2003
Messages: 64
True that Copying and Pasting from Notepad just didn't work for him.
But I can forgive him for that, if Amoki wants forgiveness for his complete ineptness at using verb tense

As for the story and plot itself, well... I don't think I'll vote on your story till I get something "complete".
  12:14:24  12 October 2003
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Amoki
back with a vengeance
(V.I.P.)

 

 
On forum: 07/31/2003
Messages: 1729
Well, Icarus Nine, perhaps that's the technical issues you mentioned in my thread. It is not that I am inept- I have to clarify that. I didn't bother to check as , as you put it, the whole thing was too damn long that I didn't want to check the verbs and the tenses. I know the issue long time already, spot. If you are really that particular about spelling, verbs and tenses, I will work hard for your nitpicking next time, in my finale.

cut and paste from notepad? Com'on, almost all computers nowadays at least have Window Office (if you don't have that, what's computer for? Playing games and surfing the net only?) Not an acceptable reason. But if that's really the reason, Tormentor, I will make an apology to you for my rash decision to vote.
  12:22:27  12 October 2003
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ToRmEnToR
(Senior)
 
On forum: 08/26/2003
Messages: 116
yup, i have written the whole thing using notepad in about 15 minutes... and the paragraphing is realy horibble, but i'm not the one you should blame : it all looks well on my notepad... i'll use word from now on.

i just had an idea, and went straight on with writing. i guess that the end result was unpolished and incomplete...

oh well, better luck next time.
 
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