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My stalker's memoir cont'd is out!

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  05:47:49  7 October 2003
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Amoki
back with a vengeance
(V.I.P.)

 

 
On forum: 07/31/2003
Messages: 1729
My stalker's memoir cont'd is out!

Hi, my story is out now. Please see them and give me some comments ( and vote them ) after you read them. Hopefully you enjoy them! I will be seeing the forum and website daily, so I WILL see you comments. Please, help yourself!
  09:51:30  7 October 2003
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ravenutty
(Senior)
 
On forum: 10/05/2003
Messages: 55
well, a little too much fighting for me, personally I'd prefer trading rather thn shooting at everything moving, but a damn fine storyline, recognizable characters and a kick-ass ending. Good work!
  07:31:20  10 October 2003
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Amoki
back with a vengeance
(V.I.P.)

 

 
On forum: 07/31/2003
Messages: 1729
Well, as Igor Dolvich said in Jagged Alliance 2: "Thank you. Thank you very much."
Any other comments?
  18:16:03  10 October 2003
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Icarus Nine
(Senior)
 
On forum: 09/23/2003
Messages: 64
I could mire you with technical details, but that wouldn't be very helpful.

Personally, I wasn't too fond of it.
If there's a reason, it's because your writing reminded me of how I would've written years ago (or perhaps even now). And there is no person I'm so hard on as myself, meaning you're in a very uncomfortable spot.

First off, it's long. Course, your stories are always long so it might as well be a complement.
My first major complaint is that you have 2-4 tandem stories going on at once, and I often found myself in the middle of a paragraph before I realized which story I was in.

Also, the thing reads like a video game.

And I've got FN2000s coming out of my ears after reading each of your stories. Goodness you'd think there's no other gun in Amos' world but the FN.

The Vil story seemed rather contrived. A "take over the world" plan that (as in a lot of "heroic" stories) pops out of nowhere only to be stopped by someone in the right place at the right time. Vil's instant relationships with his weapons were also a bit over the top.

The "3 headshot would do the job, but 7 or more bullets were needed to kill the mutant by torso shots." is something I'd expect to see in a strategy guide.

That is all.
  01:31:32  11 October 2003
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Amoki
back with a vengeance
(V.I.P.)

 

 
On forum: 07/31/2003
Messages: 1729
Well, sorry about that. I actually had seperator lines to show where the parts betweem the character would end and the part for the new character starts. But the problem is, the website doesn't support Word 2000 automformatting. Believe me, I really did put lines because I knew that without them, the stories' a mess. The third sequel I already reeditted them so the dividers are not Word 2000 autoformatting (in other words, manually did). I really hope that this works, or else, I am going bonkers.

Secondly, the FN is used by the Spec Ops, according to the website. Sorry about the issue, but I am the type who goes by the books.

Thirdly, I also wanted to hear about the technical issues. You never know when it will become helpful, since I want to collect comments for the last one.

Thanks anyway, Icarus Nine!
 
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