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Me and my AK

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  19:40:13  30 September 2003
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Waqar
(Novice)
 
On forum: 09/30/2003
Messages: 7
Me and my AK

Author: Waqar Tariq
Posted: 25/04/2003

I was sitting in this grey, old bar, drinking my Vodka which suddenly tasted horrible, sitting at the table with 3 other guys who I once called
  06:04:44  1 October 2003
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Amoki
back with a vengeance
(V.I.P.)

 

 
On forum: 07/31/2003
Messages: 1729
I don't understand, mate, why u posted this here after yours is posted. WE all post our work when they weren't posted up. Your are ....eh.... unique.

I suggest u stick to your comments in the webpage ( if there is any.) And hey, unless you are writing a sequel, I wouldn't bother to comment more. Sorry to so, but others may already posted up what I think, so I don't bother to type ( or read)!
  09:46:37  28 December 2003
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Waqar
(Novice)
 
On forum: 09/30/2003
Messages: 7
More commenst please!
  12:50:38  28 December 2003
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Amoki
back with a vengeance
(V.I.P.)

 

 
On forum: 07/31/2003
Messages: 1729

---QUOTATION---
More commenst please!
---END QUOTATION---



Hmmmm.... I'm touched, after you remained dormant for such a long time, you still come and ask for more comment. How about this? Let's make a deal. You comment on mine somewhere in this forum, and I'll comment on yours first.

On a first glance, this story is quite deep. You explore the melancholic feelings of a stalker who had lost his AK. Next you explore the selfishness of others, who ,apparently, the stalker's friends, was more empathic with vodka than with him. Nice touch on the other details- explored the memories of the AK with you (the stalker).

Next for the flaws. No one is perfect, but sometime it is good to know your flaws too

1) if the rifle really brought so much memory, why didn't the protagonist (the stalker) kept it somewhere safe? 21 years inside The Zone (and that's only with the AK) should earn you enough to get a FN2000, and no doubt, the FN2000 is a much better weapon then the Ak. The FN2000's handguard does have a flashlight, so every stalker probably will be going for that. For an AK, however, a flashlight have to be mount. And mounting one was never easy, at least no one bragged about it. I believe everyone here had something precious to them. (For me, it's my NX080V PDA). And for something precious, you just don't bring them everywhere unless it is really necessary. I also doubt an AK would be the only weapon you'll be cradling around when you have cash for better one. A more logical aspect would be mounting them on a rack and guard them like they are diamonds

2) I doubt if someone could really survive the Zone more then 21 years. But even if someone could last that long, he probably would have enough money to open his own shop in Kiev and get out of The Zone. Bear in mind The ZOne is a really horrendous place- you made an example of that yourself during his met with Ivan. Anytime, a monster can control your best freind and turned him into your nightmare. Who wants to stay that long inside there?

3) Identity- your stalker don't have an identity. For examples, we never heard of him sending money back to his family. (that is a real dillema to the word Responsibility). If he have a family, that can explain why he don;t have money for a new weapon while safeguarding his old one. But this you didn't include. And he didn;t have a family of his own? No daughter who is more precious than his AK? . But he does have friends though.

Well, that's it. Your stories are quite good overall, very thought-provoking. But never ever think that you are the world's top ten writer in STALKER fanfic. There are many here with enormous potential to win, yet their chances exploited by the voting system. Not to mention these guys are so kind that they really spent time helping others.
  12:52:05  28 December 2003
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Amoki
back with a vengeance
(V.I.P.)

 

 
On forum: 07/31/2003
Messages: 1729
ah, we have an "Ich bin ein Berliner" here! Gutten Tag, lad. Welcome to the forum
  20:40:05  28 December 2003
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Waqar
(Novice)
 
On forum: 09/30/2003
 

Message edited by:
Waqar
12/28/2003 20:40:41
Messages: 7

---QUOTATION---
1) if the rifle really brought so much memory, why didn't the protagonist (the stalker) kept it somewhere safe? 21 years inside The Zone (and that's only with the AK) should earn you enough to get a FN2000, and no doubt, the FN2000 is a much better weapon then the Ak. The FN2000's handguard does have a flashlight, so every stalker probably will be going for that. For an AK, however, a flashlight have to be mount. And mounting one was never easy, at least no one bragged about it. I believe everyone here had something precious to them. (For me, it's my NX080V PDA). And for something precious, you just don't bring them everywhere unless it is really necessary. I also doubt an AK would be the only weapon you'll be cradling around when you have cash for better one. A more logical aspect would be mounting them on a rack and guard them like they are diamonds
---END QUOTATION---



From the story: "The responsibility my father had imposed on me was to win this war. With no other means than my A.K."
The protagonist has to survive in the Zone with this weapon. Of course there are other weapons that are better but his father used this gun and so does he. It's like: there are hundreds or technically advanced watches (with lights in the dark, stop watch function, date indicator, etc. etc.) but if someone who you really love gave you a normal watch with only day and night indicators, which one would you wear? I think I explained the meaning of the gun pretty detailed and why on earth he wants to use THAT very AK.




---QUOTATION---
2) I doubt if someone could really survive the Zone more then 21 years. But even if someone could last that long, he probably would have enough money to open his own shop in Kiev and get out of The Zone. Bear in mind The ZOne is a really horrendous place- you made an example of that yourself during his met with Ivan. Anytime, a monster can control your best freind and turned him into your nightmare. Who wants to stay that long inside there?
---END QUOTATION---



Stalkers are not rich people, they can only make ends meet. They're not bank investors or something you can save money. Their income just suffices to have one or two meals a day and to buy some ammunition. Most of their money is invested in bullets, guns, equipment, etc. anyway. Who wants to stay that long in there? Well, apparently stalkers do otherwise they weren't stalker. They're convinced people who want to explore the Zone and find out what's going on in there. Normal people wouldn't want to go there of course but we're talking about stalkers here.


---QUOTATION---
3) Identity- your stalker don't have an identity. For examples, we never heard of him sending money back to his family. (that is a real dillema to the word Responsibility). If he have a family, that can explain why he don;t have money for a new weapon while safeguarding his old one. But this you didn't include. And he didn;t have a family of his own? No daughter who is more precious than his AK? . But he does have friends though.
---END QUOTATION---



The stalker doesn't have any family. His only identity is his gun and he himself as a human being. And as I said again, I think I explained in the story why he wants to use that weapon, if you don't understand it, read the answer to 1)


---QUOTATION---
Well, that's it. Your stories are quite good overall, very thought-provoking. But never ever think that you are the world's top ten writer in STALKER fanfic. There are many here with enormous potential to win, yet their chances exploited by the voting system. Not to mention these guys are so kind that they really spent time helping others.
---END QUOTATION---



Well, I never said I'm the best writer.

Thanks.
  01:49:50  29 December 2003
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Amoki
back with a vengeance
(V.I.P.)

 

 
On forum: 07/31/2003
Messages: 1729

---QUOTATION---
1) if the rifle really brought so much memory, why didn't the protagonist (the stalker) kept it somewhere safe? 21 years inside The Zone (and that's only with the AK) should earn you enough to get a FN2000, and no doubt, the FN2000 is a much better weapon then the Ak. The FN2000's handguard does have a flashlight, so every stalker probably will be going for that. For an AK, however, a flashlight have to be mount. And mounting one was never easy, at least no one bragged about it. I believe everyone here had something precious to them. (For me, it's my NX080V PDA). And for something precious, you just don't bring them everywhere unless it is really necessary. I also doubt an AK would be the only weapon you'll be cradling around when you have cash for better one. A more logical aspect would be mounting them on a rack and guard them like they are diamonds

From the story: "The responsibility my father had imposed on me was to win this war. With no other means than my A.K."
The protagonist has to survive in the Zone with this weapon. Of course there are other weapons that are better but his father used this gun and so does he. It's like: there are hundreds or technically advanced watches (with lights in the dark, stop watch function, date indicator, etc. etc.) but if someone who you really love gave you a normal watch with only day and night indicators, which one would you wear? I think I explained the meaning of the gun pretty detailed and why on earth he wants to use THAT very AK.


I'll still be using a more advance one while keeping the one my true love gave to me inside a safe. Maybe not your style though, but I understand if there is something that precious, once it's lost, it's gone. Take example from your watch example- say you're wearing that stuff around, and one dark and stormy night, someone mugged you, and it's gone forever (that is, unless you can find it inside a pawn shop)

2) I doubt if someone could really survive the Zone more then 21 years. But even if someone could last that long, he probably would have enough money to open his own shop in Kiev and get out of The Zone. Bear in mind The ZOne is a really horrendous place- you made an example of that yourself during his met with Ivan. Anytime, a monster can control your best freind and turned him into your nightmare. Who wants to stay that long inside there?

Stalkers are not rich people, they can only make ends meet. They're not bank investors or something you can save money. Their income just suffices to have one or two meals a day and to buy some ammunition. Most of their money is invested in bullets, guns, equipment, etc. anyway. Who wants to stay that long in there? Well, apparently stalkers do otherwise they weren't stalker. They're convinced people who want to explore the Zone and find out what's going on in there. Normal people wouldn't want to go there of course but we're talking about stalkers here.

Hmmm... make sense. But life isn't really that bad inside The Zone.

3) Identity- your stalker don't have an identity. For examples, we never heard of him sending money back to his family. (that is a real dillema to the word Responsibility). If he have a family, that can explain why he don;t have money for a new weapon while safeguarding his old one. But this you didn't include. And he didn;t have a family of his own? No daughter who is more precious than his AK? . But he does have friends though.

The stalker doesn't have any family. His only identity is his gun and he himself as a human being. And as I said again, I think I explained in the story why he wants to use that weapon, if you don't understand it, read the answer to 1)

make sense too- your story revolves around the AK that you've lost. But how was he born? Orphan?


---QUOTATION---
Well, that's it. Your stories are quite good overall, very thought-provoking. But never ever think that you are the world's top ten writer in STALKER fanfic. There are many here with enormous potential to win, yet their chances exploited by the voting system. Not to mention these guys are so kind that they really spent time helping others.

Well, I never said I'm the best writer.

Thanks.
---END QUOTATION---



Nah, I'm just trying to jerk you back to reality with the disiilusioned voting system. I know that your story does flip-flop around the chart a lot. Stories like The Difference between you and me, the best laid plans (believe it or not, I enjoy them and setup up some of them into my PDA) are those which too really rocks, but they don't actually make it to the charts. Remember, the contest is not what it seems, just like the anomalies inside The Zone.

You still haven't answer my 3-months old question. why, Herr Wagar, Why? Your story made it to the charts, you know your story's good, lots of people actually gave comments worthy of your story. Why? Why do you want to get your comments here? Why do you post your story here in the forum. Not that you can't, just curious.
  02:21:21  29 December 2003
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Claws
The Watcher
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 10/23/2002
Messages: 1053
Redrick only felt alive when he was in the Zone. I suspect a lot of stalkers are attached to the Zone and wouldn't leave it no matter how rich they become.
  10:23:29  29 December 2003
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Waqar
(Novice)
 
On forum: 09/30/2003
Messages: 7

---QUOTATION---
make sense too- your story revolves around the AK that you've lost. But how was he born? Orphan?
---END QUOTATION---



Could be one possibility, but I haven't thought about it and it doesn't matter at all for the plot.


---QUOTATION---
Nah, I'm just trying to jerk you back to reality with the disiilusioned voting system. I know that your story does flip-flop around the chart a lot. Stories like The Difference between you and me, the best laid plans (believe it or not, I enjoy them and setup up some of them into my PDA) are those which too really rocks, but they don't actually make it to the charts. Remember, the contest is not what it seems, just like the anomalies inside The Zone.
---END QUOTATION---



Well, you can't accuse me of that. It's all a matter of point-of-view which story rocks... I know the voting system is flawed but it's not my fault, complain to GSC...


---QUOTATION---
You still haven't answer my 3-months old question. why, Herr Wagar, Why? Your story made it to the charts, you know your story's good, lots of people actually gave comments worthy of your story. Why? Why do you want to get your comments here? Why do you post your story here in the forum. Not that you can't, just curious.
---END QUOTATION---



Because I want more feedback and think didn't get enough at the official site. As I saw that other stories had been posted here, too, I posted mine.
  01:21:45  30 December 2003
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Amoki
back with a vengeance
(V.I.P.)

 

 
On forum: 07/31/2003
Messages: 1729
no, I am not puting the blame on you. Besides, if you watched the forum long enough, you'll know GSC have abandoned the voting system- they are chosing the winner by theirselves i.e reading one by one.
  13:26:43  30 December 2003
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Waqar
(Novice)
 
On forum: 09/30/2003
Messages: 7
The voting-system is still there.
  13:50:10  30 December 2003
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Arthur Gordon Pym
(Senior)
 
On forum: 07/28/2003
Messages: 138
Nice idea. I have to agree with you for the decision to explore the life and the mind of someone lost near the zone, his daily struggle, and surely not a hero, or action-oriented kind of person.People that follows the previous generations that had to deal with The Zone's disaster.In both my stories i submitted, i was trying to discover some of that people, as of action stories there are plenty enough of them, and the trailers inspierd me more than action.

I felt the lonliness in the trailers, and i bet you felt that too.

But anyway, i really can't undertand this ''war with the zone with responsibility''.I can't understand a man asking his son to throw away all his life in order to mantain that pointless war.And i can't really understand why a hunter goes hunting with a AK, cause he surely had bought a Hunt rifle before or instead (i have a family of professional hunters, i know what it means).And i don't understand why the son just accepted that ''responsibility'' without even felt a doubt on changing his life, for example.Seems too much linear to me.I thought you was going towards the fact that he was a completely looser, but i didn't felt this accuse when at the end you let the story finish with just the AK lost, and just his worries of telling friends about it.What's this point about? it seems unfinished to me.

Write a second part?
  13:59:06  30 December 2003
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Arthur Gordon Pym
(Senior)
 
On forum: 07/28/2003
Messages: 138

---QUOTATION---

You still haven't answer my 3-months old question. why, Herr Wagar, Why? Your story made it to the charts, you know your story's good, lots of people actually gave comments worthy of your story. Why? Why do you want to get your comments here? Why do you post your story here in the forum. Not that you can't, just curious.
---END QUOTATION---



Hey Am, hi mate.I think that he's maybe happy to share his story to a audience that care and immediately read and criticize deeply his work.I feel like the comments on this forum and on the site are two different ones.Like if you shoot a short movie, here you show it to people that technically care about writing.In the site, you show that to people that care about their entertainment.
Don't know, maybe he do this just to divide the feedback?
  14:26:51  30 December 2003
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Waqar
(Novice)
 
On forum: 09/30/2003
 

Message edited by:
Waqar
12/30/2003 14:36:19
Messages: 7
Thanks, I'll try to answer your questions.


---QUOTATION---
But anyway, i really can't undertand this ''war with the zone with responsibility''.I can't understand a man asking his son to throw away all his life in order to mantain that pointless war.
---END QUOTATION---



If you may have seen the movie "STALKER", it is said that Stalkers are doomed people. It is also shown that they live from the Zone and the Zone lives from them. It's a connection and dependence. The stalker in the movie goes to the Zone although he has been sent to jail several times and although his wife cries and tears him to not go there. When the stalkers are thinking of the Zone, no one can stop them from going there. The truth is that this war can actually never end, at least not as long as the Zone or the stalkers exist. The Zone is full of strange new things and is constantly changing. This mutual dependence will never let the war end, the stalkers are prisonors of it trying to understand the laws of the Zone but the human mind will never be able to understand them, instead it'll go on to experience it. With human mind I actually mean the minds of the stalkers (which reflect the human mind). So in fact the stalkers try to win this war but actually they can't as there is no end (but they don't know it, you could say the nature is playing a trick on them). From generation to generation the stalkers pass on their knowledge and experience and that is why he asks his son to end the war but his son can't end it, neither can someone else. So actually you are correct in a way to say it's a "pointless" war. But you have to consider the stalkers don't know/think/believe this way. You will understand me much better if you read this article: http://oblivion-lost.xu2.net/en/index.php?site=mreview.php.


---QUOTATION---
And i can't really understand why a hunter goes hunting with a AK, cause he surely had bought a Hunt rifle before or instead (i have a family of professional hunters, i know what it means).
---END QUOTATION---



His father used the AK and told him to win that war with this very gun and nothing else, so he follows his command without ifs or buts. I answered in a previous post why he uses it.


---QUOTATION---
And i don't understand why the son just accepted that ''responsibility'' without even felt a doubt on changing his life, for example.Seems too much linear to me.I thought you was going towards the fact that he was a completely looser, but i didn't felt this accuse when at the end you let the story finish with just the AK lost, and just his worries of telling friends about it.What's this point about? it seems unfinished to me.
---END QUOTATION---



It's a matter of choice. The stalker isn't given a choice, he has to accept it as he's standing next to his father's bed while he is dying. There is no time left for him to discuss, he has to accept it if he wants it or not. You might be asking: Why does he have to? Well, cause he loves his father. This might seem a simple explanation, but ask yourself what is love? If you find the answer for that questions, then you will also understand why he accepts the responsibility.
Yes, it does seem unfinished, and I intened to leave it that way because if I had finished it, I would have had to answer such questions like what is love etc. I don't want to answer them, everybody should think about it himself and make up his own mind about such things and create his own opinion.
EDIT: Do you really think he is a loser? Okay, I'll help you a bit: it might be that losing his gun is an indication. An indication by the Zone that this war can not end and there is no need to go on to fight. So actually the Zone might be helping him and taking off the burden and responsibility off his shoulders. ; )


---QUOTATION---
Write a second part?
---END QUOTATION---



Maybe, I had some thoughts but I doubt I'll have time.
 
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