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"THE RUNAWAY"

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  14:36:57  11 January 2004
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Tluster
(Novice)
 
On forum: 11/30/2003
Messages: 13
What?


---QUOTATION---
When will GSC judge the contest?

End of april. But yours will not stand to win even a least bit if you post up this one- no ending, so it is not a story at all! The words are unkind... but I am a candid person, you know. So I don;t think I did any damage by being this straigh-forward/blunt.
---END QUOTATION---




I do not understand asterisk comments. This contest is meant to fit into the existing story line and there is not and ending per say or a beginning. I just don't think they are going to rewrite their whole story line to fit the story that is picked.
Anyways, I personally think that if they are going to pick the winning story they will pick the best that fits into their story line. Ether way I thank this story has a fighting chance..................
  16:38:24  11 January 2004
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Chansd5
(Senior)
 
On forum: 11/26/2003
 

Message edited by:
Chansd5
01/11/2004 16:57:56
Messages: 124

---QUOTATION---
What?

When will GSC judge the contest?

End of april. But yours will not stand to win even a least bit if you post up this one- no ending, so it is not a story at all! The words are unkind... but I am a candid person, you know. So I don;t think I did any damage by being this straigh-forward/blunt.


I do not understand asterisk comments. This contest is meant to fit into the existing story line and there is not and ending per say or a beginning. I just don't think they are going to rewrite their whole story line to fit the story that is picked.
Anyways, I personally think that if they are going to pick the winning story they will pick the best that fits into their story line. Ether way I thank this story has a fighting chance..................

---END QUOTATION---



Yes, I agree with Tluster.

I do not believe my story had a real ending either, the ending (or continuation) was in the reader's imagination.
  16:52:14  11 January 2004
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Chansd5
(Senior)
 
On forum: 11/26/2003
Messages: 124
I haven't posted a review for your story yet johnadaniels. I am going to do it now.

Your story reminded me of fairy tales, but written in the zone. A good twist that i found very enjoyable. I like how the boy had befriended the mutants and saying how humankind in the outside world seemed more cruel than the mutants in the zone. I believe that saids alot, a very very clever idea.

The only fault i was able to find was if you had describe the scenery a bit more, because I had a vision of this story taking place in an abandoned factory of some sort, but was unsure.

Last thing, you may want to split the sentences into smaller fragments for the dialogue but leave the rest in the paragraphs.

I second Sablehawk's comment and I hope to see the adventures of the mutant and the boy in the zone.
  02:33:48  13 January 2004
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johnadaniels
Excuse me, was that your gun?
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 12/02/2002
Messages: 249

---QUOTATION---
End of april. But yours will not stand to win even a least bit if you post up this one- no ending, so it is not a story at all! The words are unkind... but I am a candid person, you know. So I don;t think I did any damage by being this straigh-forward/blunt.
---END QUOTATION---



amoki, no one told me their would have to be a ending So I should still have
a shot at winning just like everyone else I wish we could all win.
I am glad to hear that GSC is going to judge the stories.
  02:38:58  13 January 2004
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johnadaniels
Excuse me, was that your gun?
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 12/02/2002
Messages: 249

---QUOTATION---
Your story reminded me of fairy tales, but written in the zone. A good twist that i found very enjoyable. I like how the boy had befriended the mutants and saying how humankind in the outside world seemed more cruel than the mutants in the zone. I believe that saids alot, a very very clever idea.

The only fault i was able to find was if you had describe the scenery a bit more, because I had a vision of this story taking place in an abandoned factory of some sort, but was unsure.

Last thing, you may want to split the sentences into smaller fragments for the dialogue but leave the rest in the paragraphs.

I second Sablehawk's comment and I hope to see the adventures of the mutant and the boy in the zone.
---END QUOTATION---




Thanks you Chansd5 very much for the review My wife Tonya and I thank you for
taking the time to read the story. We will take you advice into consideration on our
next story.

Tluster, your are right, I do not think GSC wants to read a book
  08:12:04  13 January 2004
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Amoki
back with a vengeance
(V.I.P.)

 

 
On forum: 07/31/2003
Messages: 1729

---QUOTATION---
End of april. But yours will not stand to win even a least bit if you post up this one- no ending, so it is not a story at all! The words are unkind... but I am a candid person, you know. So I don;t think I did any damage by being this straigh-forward/blunt.

amoki, no one told me their would have to be a ending So I should still have
a shot at winning just like everyone else I wish we could all win.
I am glad to hear that GSC is going to judge the stories.

---END QUOTATION---



A story without an ending is not a story. There is a chinese saying that states- "starts with the head of a Tiger, yets end with the tail of the snake." But it is just my opinion, really.

GSC don't have any choice if you sent them a book. But if you did, and the story is interesting enough to divert their boredom, you already have a very upper edge.
  14:43:21  13 January 2004
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Ian_C
The man lacking a plan
(V.I.P.)

 

 
On forum: 08/02/2003
 

Message edited by:
Ian_C
01/13/2004 14:44:33
Messages: 273

---QUOTATION---


A story without an ending is not a story. There is a chinese saying that states- "starts with the head of a Tiger, yets end with the tail of the snake." But it is just my opinion, really.


---END QUOTATION---



But what constitutes an ending is entirely subjective.

I've read some short stories which were only a paragraph long, it wasn't possible for them to have a beginning or an ending, they were merely a snapshot of a larger situation, but it didn't make them any less poor because of that. I tend to prefer such open-ended tales, or, more accurately, I understand them.

'The difference...' was originally a four part tale, and while it did end on a kind of cliffhanger much would be resolved in the final part. As the deadline drew closer I wrote like a maniac on Part 4, but it slowly came to dawn on me that I was burnt out; I'd spent too much time with this story, and, as a result, I couldn't put the ending across in a way which would satisfy people expecting something which was the equal or superior of Parts 1 and 2.

So 'The difference' remains a three part tale, and, by your definition, unfinished. I do have a slight regret at not being able to round it all off, but feel it does end reasonably despite the reader never knowing if Abram or Lukin are successful in capturing a live Controller. It does all come down to opinion, as you say. Just as there are some film viewers who want the movie to tie up all loose ends and have a definitive finale, others want a more open-ended experience that they can continue to debate on and roll around in their mind long after the film is finished.
  14:52:32  13 January 2004
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Amoki
back with a vengeance
(V.I.P.)

 

 
On forum: 07/31/2003
Messages: 1729

---QUOTATION---


A story without an ending is not a story. There is a chinese saying that states- "starts with the head of a Tiger, yets end with the tail of the snake." But it is just my opinion, really.



But what constitutes an ending is entirely subjective.

I've read some short stories which were only a paragraph long, it wasn't possible for them to have a beginning or an ending, they were merely a snapshot of a larger situation, but it didn't make them any less poor because of that. I tend to prefer such open-ended tales, or, more accurately, I understand them.

'The difference...' was originally a four part tale, and while it did end on a kind of cliffhanger much would be resolved in the final part. As the deadline drew closer I wrote like a maniac on Part 4, but it slowly came to dawn on me that I was burnt out; I'd spent too much time with this story, and, as a result, I couldn't put the ending across in a way which would satisfy people expecting something which was the equal or superior of Parts 1 and 2.

So 'The difference' remains a three part tale, and, by your definition, unfinished. I do have a slight regret at not being able to round it all off, but feel it does end reasonably despite the reader never knowing if Abram or Lukin are successful in capturing a live Controller. It does all come down to opinion, as you say. Just as there are some film viewers who want the movie to tie up all loose ends and have a definitive finale, others want a more open-ended experience that they can continue to debate on and roll around in their mind long after the film is finished.
---END QUOTATION---



Uou have finished yours, Ian C? Good for you. I am only 50% donw on my finale. But if you can find the time, help to evaulate mine.
  17:15:40  13 January 2004
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Ian_C
The man lacking a plan
(V.I.P.)

 

 
On forum: 08/02/2003
Messages: 273

---QUOTATION---



Uou have finished yours, Ian C? Good for you. I am only 50% donw on my finale. But if you can find the time, help to evaulate mine.
---END QUOTATION---



I'll be sure to do just that. Got some time on my hands tonight so I'll look over as much of 'prey of one, predator of another' as I can, in between watching Angel and Nip/Tuck of course.

I suppose I did finish it, as although I had wrote a great deal of Part 4 it just wasn't up to scratch, hopefully Part 3 will be posted up soon which fleshes out the character of Lukin ( what I really would've hated was for the story to end with him just being the cardboard cut out he is in Parts 1 and 2 )
 
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