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the ladies call me "stalker"

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  22:51:15  20 April 2004
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baff
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 04/16/2004
 

Message edited by:
baff
04/20/2004 23:02:02
Messages: 708
the ladies call me "stalker"

stalker diary.
the letters home.

post card from the famous forum at chernoyl.
so here i am in chernobyl mum. it's not like i imagined it to be.
i've been looking for that russian student of yours Alex.
but she must have seen me first.

in fact i've been looking for any russians at all. so far i've met a load of americans a brit a jew and possibly a swede.
i don't really understand russian anyway. so probably it's for the best.
theres a lot of sign posts round here for a place called Mysql error. it's not in my phrase book.
the picture on the back of the cards is of my favourite iron sights. i hope you like them as much as i do. i'm sorry to say it's not an actual stalker picture mum, i havent found the chernobyl black market here yet mum but when i do i'll buy some guns and write you again. send my love to dad. http://www.shacknews.com/screens.x/brothersinarms/BrothersinArms/1/thumbs/sight_lg.jpg



Hi! it's me. back again.
i found the blackmarket and all the guns mum. i know you always tell me one shot one kill, i'm hoping i'll be able to do that with one of these babies. i just bought two anti tank weapons for a 2 bottles of vodka and a tin of hash of a couple of soldiers. i've always wanted to come clean with you about smoking dope, and being this far away from home seems like as good a time as any. i met a russian bloke called "barishnikov" who sold me a "kalashnikov" for a "vodka" and a copy of "tolstoi", i said "dasvedanya comrad" and he said "perestroika"but i think he was a bit of a "rasputin" and ran off with too many of my "roubels". as you might have guessed i've lost my phrase book.
the americans are here and are demanding american guns. so far all the russians are just ignoring them. they keep saying "gemini", "sputnik" looking at each other and then laughing a lot.
i'm going to see if i can find me a barmaid. maybe if no one talks to me, i'll write you some more from there. send my love to dad
i wrote this on a picture one of the americans took of me this morning, the hotel is out of town, and the buses here arent all that regular. (actually we were lost. someone removed all the mysql signs) http://www.stalker-game.com/download/gallery/screenshots/middle/sb_xray_12.jpg



well here i am at the local bar.
it seems much like the bars back home.
the language barrier no longer seems to be such a problem.
i found me a sexy barmaid and she keeps saying "vodka stalker" "stalker vodka" "vodka" "stalker" diferent country. different bar, different barmaid. same conversation. all the russian men have moustaches so i will grow one to impress her.
then follow her home a few times.
nobody in this bar works. from time to time they get up to walk to the bar or the toilet.
everytime they stop walking, they all pull out hand grenades and fiddle with the release pins. or start cleaning their rifles and checking the ammunition.
theres a couple of strange blokes in the corner, when ever they stop walking, they start to play with bows and arrows. they have definietly had too much.
talking of having too much. i think the vodka here is pretty cheap. i feel ill, i've been puking quite a lot.
anyway drink driving laws are pretty lax here. i found a picture of a car in the pub window and have bought. i thought i would send it you as a postcard. love to dad
http://www.stalker-game.com/download/gallery/screenshots/middle/sb_xray_13.jpg




mum, have you heard of radiation? apparently it wasn't the vodka.
all my hair is falling out. i am very worried about my new moustache.
radiation it seems has had some unforseen effects on the local enviroment.
i have heard tales of "anomalies" round here. it seems the high radiation has had some unforseen and unatural effects.no ne here canlie down for example, and everybodies gun has been inverted, they look like normal guns but the radiactivity has mirrored them. whats worse, is that some of the animals have become mutated. take for example the dogs. the radiation was so strong that the dogs all learnt to use guns. unfortunately the dogs are all right handed and the guns mirrored. when the dogs fired the guns, the shell cases flew out into their eyes and blinded them. it's unreal.
"realism" thats what my sniper friend keeps telling me. he said he likes using real sniper tactics. he says all the best people do. real snipers apparently like in a ditch and shit in a bag so that the dogs can't smell your position.
i tried this for a day or two, but idiscovered that the dog's now blind, deprived of a sense of smell have been mistaking my leg for a lamp post. and when they go, they don't just get it on your leg, they go all the way up and down up and down. this is pretty annoying, so i bought myself snappy protective clothes. love to dad.
and heres a picture of me "dressed for the bitches"
http://www.stalker-game.com/download/gallery/screenshots/middle/sb_xray_16.jpg




hi dad, i'm just writing you a quick one to say i miss your cooking. theres not much good grub here, and i'm losing weight (and hair and bit of skin) fast.
i can't find a pizza hut here abouts. someone has recommeded me too shot some birds and cook them myself. yes i've been wearing that lead codpiece you bought me. it hurts a bit when i run. everyone keeps saying what a great idea it will be to co-op around here, and one day people might be able to. you won't believe how tired ihave become. i've been here for a week standing and sitting the whole time, still totally unable to go prone. normally i just lean up against a tree. the trees in russia are all the same. must be the radiation. theres loads of them and this mysterious plantgrowth that grows wherever you walk, and then withers away as soon as you leave. everyone is wondering when the clouds will move as well. there is a constant thunder storm going on here. i wish it would just stop. it's giving me a headache. that or the vodka is wearing off.
i followed the barmaid home. she lives in this god awful run down shack,........
with her boyfriend .(it doesn't even have running water0 he shouted something foreign at me. but i will have the last laugh. . love to mum (don't tell her about the codpiece please.) now, where can i go, i've drunk two litres of that vodka now and i'm bursting........
http://www.stalker-game.com/download/gallery/screenshots/middle/sb_xray_07.jpg
  22:57:55  20 April 2004
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Amoki
back with a vengeance
(V.I.P.)

 

 
On forum: 07/31/2003
Messages: 1729
man, you must be driking lots of vodka and smoking lots of crack when you write this, because from all the stories I had read, I do not understand yours at the least! Sorry, but that's reality for me.
  02:34:17  21 April 2004
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B.Miller
(Novice)
 
On forum: 12/31/2003
Messages: 10
baqrbara miller


---QUOTATION---
man, you must be driking lots of vodka and smoking lots of crack when you write this, because from all the stories I had read, I do not understand yours at the least! Sorry, but that's reality for me.
---END QUOTATION---




I think this is halarious. Amoki ! where has your sense of hmour gone? This piece cracked me up!
  02:46:27  21 April 2004
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B.Miller
(Novice)
 
On forum: 12/31/2003
Messages: 10
B. miller


---QUOTATION---
baqrbara miller

man, you must be driking lots of vodka and smoking lots of crack when you write this, because from all the stories I had read, I do not understand yours at the least! Sorry, but that's reality for me.


I think this is halarious. Amoki ! where has your sense of hmour gone? This piece cracked me up!
---END QUOTATION---



baff, don't stop now. All the zone stories, including my own, are pretty serious. It's good to laugh for a change. Great idea postcards from the zone and using the links.
  04:11:01  21 April 2004
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Amoki
back with a vengeance
(V.I.P.)

 

 
On forum: 07/31/2003
Messages: 1729
Nah, sorry, but I didn't find it funny, so I mistaken it as another one of those "Done without effort" stories. Guess I take life too serious, eh?
  18:11:40  21 April 2004
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Kristophan
(Senior)
 
On forum: 12/10/2003
Messages: 120
This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time. Cleverly done too.
Bravo.



---QUOTATION---
I've always wanted to come clean with you about smoking dope, and being this far away from home seems like as good a time as any.
---END QUOTATION---



 
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