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Please take the time to read and rate my story ?

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  16:16:47  12 April 2004
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Neohunter
(Senior)
 
On forum: 10/04/2003
Messages: 66
Ian C, you are my savior. *puts links in favorite folder*
  15:34:28  12 April 2004
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Ian_C
The man lacking a plan
(V.I.P.)

 

 
On forum: 08/02/2003
 

Message edited by:
Ian_C
04/12/2004 15:35:12
Messages: 273
I can only echo what very good critique has been made already by Grisly Silence and Amoki, but what I can give you are a number of links that you may find useful;

[link]http://www.sca.org/heraldry/paul/[/link] - a database of Russian names, there are certainly many common ones here but also unique and individual surnames.

[link]www.russianfoods.com[/link] - a suprisingly useful resource, even the small touch of using foods which many will not be familar with adds to the authenticity of your story.

[link]http://world.guns.ru/main-e.htm[/link] guns guns guns! Find out specific origins of firearms and which would be most likely to find use in the hands of Stalkers ( feel free to have one or two expensive weapons, but take pains to stress their rarity and value ).

[link]http://www.lib.utexas.edu/maps/commonwealth/comm_indep_states_ref_00.jpg[/link] - a very useful image, find out which towns or cities it would be plausible to have your Stalker travel from, when you have such facts solid and set then you always start the narrative in a stronger position then someone who doesn't.

[link]http://www.armystudyguide.com/grenades/studyguide.htm[/link] - some useful info on hand grenades, different types etc.

[link]http://web.ccr.jussieu.fr/radioactivite/english/doses_effects.htm[/link] - some details on effects of radiation in varying doses.

Hope all of these help, they were invaluable to me.
  13:50:26  12 April 2004
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KaGe[47]
(Novice)
 
On forum: 04/10/2004
Messages: 4
Thanks for all the advice I really appreciate it, I've already made some minor tweaks to my story, the characters still sound american though. Maybe watching that movie would help a little thx
  10:08:26  12 April 2004
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Amoki
back with a vengeance
(V.I.P.)

 

 
On forum: 07/31/2003
Messages: 1729
a good place to start to understand Russian Culture is from the movie "Doctor Zhirago"- its long, but it can show you much about how Russian used to live, and Ukraine is part of Russian once. Of course, that is an old movie, and culture changes. For example, ALL Germans used to be taught to obey orders from superior (i.e parents), but now I am not so sure.
  09:53:11  12 April 2004
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KaGe[47]
(Novice)
 
On forum: 04/10/2004
Messages: 4
I know it's too short a period to write a story in, I just started writing it for fun and after that I let some of my friends read it and they seemed to think it was pretty good so i just posted it I had no idea you guys put so much though and time in it, your stories are truly works of arts, some of you should start thinking about writing books or something, really. Anyway as far as the research is confirmed all I did was read the entire website including the stories about the Chernobyl incident e.d. and all the background info of the game and just started writing with what I knew from that. The reason I wrote the story so fast is pretty much because it was like I experienced it while I wrote it meaning I was really just writing what I saw and most of the time not even thinking about what I wrote It's kind of a strange way to write, huh ?
  01:05:52  12 April 2004
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Neohunter
(Senior)
 
On forum: 10/04/2003
Messages: 66
Yes amoki, as much of your story as i have read so far (you really went all out. you deserve at least a compiment prize for that) is very good. I should put my sequel up here soon...

Anyway, to your story mr. gerry. I have to agree with amoki and grisly. Its decent, but you really need to research more. Once you have that done, I'm sure your stories will be great

Oh and 30 minutes? Come on man, you gotta work harder. My story took me about two months to write. Plan it out more and you'll see.
  23:00:20  11 April 2004
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GrislySilence
Fanfic Reviewer
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 10/06/2003
Messages: 168
Sheesh Amoki. After your comment about nobody reading your story, I went and downloaded all of it. 69 pages at 12 point font. Wow. I'll read it soon.

Yes, and Amoki's right about journals not being appropriate. However, it may come in useful if you had a longer piece done normally, but the main character finds a journal and reads it periodically. You would be telling two stories in one, and they'd probably meet up somewhere at the end. Harder to do, though.
  11:18:10  11 April 2004
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Amoki
back with a vengeance
(V.I.P.)

 

 
On forum: 07/31/2003
Messages: 1729
well, I don't know much either. the only person active in the forum and had been in touchjwith Russian cutlure is Nauris Krauze. However, I can tell you this: Not all Russian are drunkard. This is an idea tepds to form in the western mind, especially in the hollywood. This is like saying all Americans are infidels and all muslim are terrorist.
By the way, finishing a work in 30 min is too damn short. I spent about 3 months doing 'Prey'. The other active members would probably spent days. But your English is all right, so do't worry too much. And Belgium! Guess like this part of te forum isn't that small after all. Overall, nice work. Improve from your mistake. The skill youmlearn now would be helpful in the future.

p.s - I am testing the net capability ofmy PDA so forgive my poor English.
  11:17:14  11 April 2004
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Amoki
back with a vengeance
(V.I.P.)

 

 
On forum: 07/31/2003
Messages: 1729
well, I don't know much either. the only person active in the forum and had been in touchjwith Russian cutlure is Nauris Krauze. However, I can tell you this: Not all Russian are drunkard. This is an idea tepds to form in the western mind, especially in the hollywood. This is like saying all Americans are infidels and all muslim are terrorist.
By the way, finishing a work in 30 min is too damn short. I spent about 3 months doing 'Prey'. The other active members would probably spent days. But your English is all right, so do't worry too much. And Belgium! Guess like this part of te forum isn't that small after all. Overall, nice work. Improve from your mistake. The skill youmlearn now would be helpful in the future.

p.s - I am testing the net capability ofmy PDA so forgive my poor English.
  09:39:04  11 April 2004
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KaGe[47]
(Novice)
 
On forum: 04/10/2004
Messages: 4
Thanks you guys I appreciate that The story only took me about half an hour to write and I never really thought ahead about where I was going, I just kind of write that way, I know it's not the smartest thing to do but hell, I just thought I'd try to write something. Anyway your comments are damn good and make an awful lot of sense. I can explain a few things here and there, lik for instance I use Tsjernobyl because I'm from Belgium and that is how we spell it here, A little mistake on my part, it's a coincidence that it is also old russian spelling I guess The names Alexi and Sergei were pretty much the first that sprung to mind so that's why I used them, sorry if they are a bit clich
 
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