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Control. ::found documents (002), Journal

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  09:03:49  29 January 2005
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On forum: 01/28/2005

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01/29/2005 9:12:49
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Control. ::found documents (002), Journal

Update - Sgt. Olena (after much prodding by me) has divested herself of the other document she found in the abandoned ad-hoc lab outside of Yampol'.
(see: [link][/link]).

This document was printed on what appears to be EEG graph paper and was hidden within a stack of spent EEG graphs. I do not think there is much to make of this document other than it seems the later entries (where it indicates he would begin discussing his work) have been torn away. I am still shocked by the first document and have decided to pull some favors to see if I can find out more about what this person was doing. I will post my updates here if/when anything should develop.

Wednesday 2012.01.25 09:14 - Los Angeles
How does a Controller control? Is a question which caries two distinct meanings with me: First, it pretty much sums up my job description which I agreed to take almost a year ago (has it been a year already??? damn) Second, its my current obsession (yes, controlled O.C.D. can become a professional asset) and for good measure why not add: I think its a fucking stupid pedestrian question (there I said it).

The shorter the question -- the greater the vacuity.

It’s Monday morning. Mondays never bothered me --- I haven’t said so before. I have thought it, but have never decided it was worth saying to anyone because I figured since the well was already poisoned for Monday why try and purify someone’s mind with the merits of the notoriously bad day? I’m not a preacher...or a Controller --- that would be funny; if I can figure out the secrets of how a Controller works I’ll come back from the Zone and make everyone around me enjoy Mondays without preaching a word, or maybe I will become a preacher? That’s a thought, droves of mindless followers pouring money into collection plates across the coun...or on second thought I guess I don’t need to know how a Controller works for that. Anyway, speaking of the Zone --- I will probably be writing a lot of things that I have never cared or dared to say before, because like an old man sensing death at his door, I feel talkative with a need to impart as much as me as possible on paper or bits or whatever, lest I be forgotten or worse remembered unjustly. Tomorrow, contrary to the old man, I become the young man that foolishly lets death in and asks for his coat and if he would like something to drink or perhaps if he was a bit famished from all of the life taking he might want a mini-sandwich? Yes, I am young with a bright future and since I plan to be on tomorrow’s flight to the Zone...I must have a death wish --- too bad I suck at making mini-sandwiches.

Wednesday 2012.01.25 14:32 - Los Angeles
I am at the dock waiting for the final piece of my equipment to arrive from Rabat. Yes, yes I know the Ukraine is closer to Rabat than Los Angeles but have you ever tried to receive Class 7, Category III – YELLOW Radioactive Materials in Odessa from Rabat? Neither have I and despite the risks in greasing palms to get it re-classified as Class 9, Misc. Dangerous Goods with a forged “Shipper's Declaration for Dangerous Goods” form and routing it through Rabat, there is a difference between smart planning risks and dumb risks. Speaking of which, I suppose openly admitting to committing multiple international crimes and breaking several treaties isn’t a smart thing to do...but, I am assured that both myself and my equipment will go unchallenged to the Zone...besides I would like to see the fools try and decrypt the data in my wearable! Yes, this journal is safe and if I get checked and someone finds some anonymous Class 9 crate filled with Class 7-III bad stuff inside, I will just play dumb until my employer comes and bails me out...

I can’t believe I am writing a journal anyway --- yet the personal visit from the doctor with the abnormally large forehead (it is huge!) made sure I understood the importance of writing a journal in the Zone. I guess people can go crazy there pretty easily and the act of writing/reading a journal keeps one grounded --- it makes sense I guess...but I am not exactly sure I am sane to begin with and besides, every time I try to keep a personal journal (trust me, I have tried) I write a bunch of posts at first and then it trails off to nothing...maybe the whole death in my house thing will change that.

Finally! The ship has docked...

Wednesday 2012.01.25 15:12 - Los Angeles
Well I am still at the dock...still waiting. I should have known they would loose that piece; everything else arrived throughout the last couple of months without a hitch and now this important piece. First it was delayed till a day before I leave (due to all the...uh...logistics) and now it is lost. Well, at least I know its on the boat, I called the Skipper once while they were loading the ship to ensure it was there and a second time en route to ensure it hadn’t fallen off (Fallen off? I know. I was nervous and a bit high, just checking and all that) --- he was pretty pissed on the second call and kept yapping about how he didn’t care about my damn little cargo because he had so much more of it for REAL customers and that a storm was coming and his crew was drunk...I don’t know I didn’t stay on the line, I had other things to do. I wonder if he is making me wait because I didn’t listen to his damn sob story? Whatever, they can’t keep me here too much longer, the ship is almost empty --- better be in there...

Wednesday 2012.01.25 15:31 - Los Angeles
Got it! I can’t believe I actually pulled it off! I mean with the budget I have, I better have pulled it off...but still I did it!

By the way, its official, that skipper is a dick.

Thursday 2012.01.26 02:05 - Los Angeles
Can’t sleep --- not that I ever really sleep --- but when I try, I usually do because I am so tired all the time. Not that I am complaining, I really don’t like sleep. Well, let me clarify that: I like sleeping, but there is so much to miss while sleeping that I would rather be doing something else. Besides, its like I said, when I try to sleep, I sleep the sleep of a man proud of his’ day work (or days in my case). Yet tonight is different, because tomorrow (technically today, in a few hours yet) I journey to the Zone. Ha, that sounds like a cliché 1940’s sci-fi title “Journey to the Zone” --- perhaps if I make it back without confirming my research on how the Controllers control, I can package this journal and sell it…I will call it “Journey to the Zone” --- yea right...I won’t come back empty handed.

Seriously though, I am a bit scared/nervous/excited/and all the other emotions that come with the extreme unknown. I could die. I could die. I could die...Screw it --- men have died for a lot less and I have said my goodbyes...sort of.

Thursday 2012.01.26 - Los Angeles
Its almost 5, I got about an hour of interrupted sleep. No bother, I am not tired...wide-awake in fact. I did however figure out that it really wasn’t the trip that kept me awake (I have had almost a year to prepare for that)--- it was the fact I was alone. Isn’t it mandatory for a man about to depart on a death mission to make love to his girlfriend or fuck some random female before he leaves? Well, I guess I fell through a loophole --- my girlfriend is pissed off and isn’t talking to me right now because I work too much (which makes no sense to me). Nonetheless, even if we were on good terms, she wouldn’t...couldn’t know that I am leaving in a couple of hours anyway. I have had to keep her in the dark this whole time. As far as she (and everyone else not involved) is concerned, I have been working for a start-up bio-media company for the last year. Still...a little unknowing love last night would have done wonders for my nerves today.

Anyway, I have to get ready now --- I will post more on the plane, in fact it will be good for me to write a summary of what I have done so far, what I plan to do and how it should all turn will help me keep focused on the task at hand...

...but still --- no love last night! What is up with that?!

[ the rest has been torn away[/i] ]
  04:41:18  30 January 2005
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Fanfic Reviewer


On forum: 10/06/2003
Messages: 168
Well now you've got me really intrigued. I'm just imagining what's in the rest of the journal.

Very good writing; it feel like a journal, which, judging from the entries I have read, is a pretty hard thing to pull off. Also, it's interesting that you gave the character OCD. One more little thing to add to his character. His writing at times felt like it was written by someone with OCD (I should know).

Good continuation of the first part, but I really want to know what happens next.
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