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Deadly Misfortune

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  22:58:00  27 October 2004
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Heli007
(Senior)
 
On forum: 11/05/2002
Messages: 87
Deadly Misfortune

http://www.stalker-game.com/index.php?t=community&s=contest&ss=rating&id=54
  04:37:11  28 October 2004
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Amoki
back with a vengeance
(V.I.P.)

 

 
On forum: 07/31/2003
Messages: 1729
Hello Daniel Lee. No, I did not refer to your page, because I know your story. I am also giving the comments based on memory that lasted since 5 weeks ago..

Well, first of all, I think you can take pride in this: https://www.gsc-game.com/main.php?t=community&s=forums&s_game_type=xr&thm_page=1&thm_id=2369&sec_id=5#34560

Your story is considered my top stories of the contest. Trouble is, the top 25 is still in the making, and I will not be kind enough to divulge you with delightful infos. Oh well

Your story is certainly above-average standard, and that means a lot to me. It is action packed, for one. Good style too. You also didn't thread into unfamiliar grounds, which is a very common flaws among contestants. Good job on that.

But there are too flaws, and many places for improvement. Imbraced yourself, this is going to be long.
1) Kim has no identity. No nationality, no identity, no nothing. If you haven't notice yet, I attempted, and believed to have been successful, at trying to read all the contest entries. Twice. There are plenty of STALKER characters, so many that if I mentioned them now, a lot of them would not be recognized. What makes your character that special? To me he is just a stalker. A stalker meeting with a deadly misfortune that is, but nothign too special about him. What I am looking for is especially character motivation and characterization. I can tell you that about 60% of the contest entries lacked the two of this, and only a few propotion of the rest did it so well, that they earned my respect.

2) The ending is a little bit "cliffhanger". You introduced the character, you want us to know what he had indured, and YOU KILLED HIM all of a sudden, and no reason given. TO be honest, that is a waste of effort for us reading it, but also to be honest this is a unique story that no one ever has done before in the contest, which sort of earned your place in the Top 55 stories of the contest. But if there is to be a next time, please, don't arrange a plot with this kind of ending.

3) Also, your plot seems to be very short and simple. Nothing special especially. Just a stalker's typical adventure with shooting and killing a stuff. This genre of stories are just like sour-cream chips- you eat them, you feel your stomach full, but they are just junk-food after all. Likewise, your story is entertaining, we read it, and they will probably end up being forgotten. And not being forgotten is an important trait if you want to win the contest, especially with the author's voting.

Well, these are my comments. They are aimed at improving your story and/or future reference shall your require it on your next STALKER fanfic. The contest is closed, but you can still submit it (future submission) and there is a big probability it will end up in the CD.

Nick-bumping is not banned in the contest, but I also don't recommend it, Bearman007.
  19:22:47  29 October 2004
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Heli007
(Senior)
 
On forum: 11/05/2002
 

Message edited by:
Heli007
10/29/2004 19:23:36
Messages: 87
Sorry for posting my story. But I have not been here for a long time. I'm not quite sure about whats going on here. What does the Verdict 2 mean. I'm kinda confused. I posted my story to shed some light on it. Being there are so many other storys, and the top ten on the stalker site are newer ones. I think the voting system on the stalker site is not working. I remember hearing about a new voting system. But I have no idea how it works. Or in what stage it is in.

I read the link you showed me.

Could you explain whats going on?

Thank you much.

  03:16:06  30 October 2004
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Amoki
back with a vengeance
(V.I.P.)

 

 
On forum: 07/31/2003
 

Message edited by:
Amoki
10/30/2004 3:21:50
Messages: 1729

---QUOTATION---
Sorry for posting my story. But I have not been here for a long time. I'm not quite sure about whats going on here. What does the Verdict 2 mean. I'm kinda confused. I posted my story to shed some light on it. Being there are so many other storys, and the top ten on the stalker site are newer ones. I think the voting system on the stalker site is not working. I remember hearing about a new voting system. But I have no idea how it works. Or in what stage it is in.

I read the link you showed me.

Could you explain whats going on?

Thank you much.


---END QUOTATION---



Easy. 'Verdict 2' is my own Hall of Fame, chosing the best of the literary works of the contest after reading all the contest entries posted in the website (twice). Part of the purpose of having this project is to expose those stories with 'the real thing' to the fans of STALKER so that they can make the best of their time when they want to make a start on reading the stories. In short, it is about bringing to light those stories worth recognizing, and I am proud to say that I think your story deserve the attention of others. Making it in is one thing, making it into the top 25 is another thing. Watch the space though.

The old voting system is defunct but still counts in determining the final winners of the contest. I remember sending you an email detailing something name "author's voting" - as an author, you are eligible to nominate 3 stories you think best to GSC and sent it to a certain email address that I can't seem to remember ATM. You can find out about it in the official website, but require some searching though/ Or just check your inbox thoroughly , my name is Amos Chua. But don't worry about the general voting system. I can assure you, if actively participated by the large porition of the contestants, the general voting wouldn't bear too much influence. Trust me

You don't need to rush on the author's voting though, take your time This goes to everyone else.

EDIT - if you still cannot find out what you should do, contact me gagin
  03:18:34  30 October 2004
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Amoki
back with a vengeance
(V.I.P.)

 

 
On forum: 07/31/2003
Messages: 1729
Add - no problem about posting your link here. Part of the advantage of having this forum is being able to bring your story to the attention of active partipants.
 
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