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From Us to Them...from Here to There....

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  01:33:08  9 May 2007
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iudeus
(Novice)
 
On forum: 05/08/2007
Messages: 4
From Us to Them...from Here to There....

Tel-Aviv, Israel, July 2010

...and i'm walking towards her, haven't seen her in years, still as beautiful as always, the sea-shore is empty and the sun is sinking into the Mediterranean, i start running towards her, and she does the same...suddenly my favorite song starts singing...but it gets louder. At that point everything turns black, i open my eyes realizing twas just a dream, and it's 3AM, but the song is still singing, i look to the left, on my little bed-table the phone is ringing. I answer without checking who it is.

"Seraphim! Wake up you little falafel-eating machine! The chief needs you! Get dressed and come to the HQ!! Yalla!!!"

I very soon realize what was going on. I close the phone, without saying a word, get dressed as fast as I can, get out of the house, get in my Volvo (i always liked safe things), and drive to the HQ

Somewhere near Tel-Aviv, Israel

I enter the HQ. The guard at the entrance smiles at me saying "by the look of your face...i can clearly realize that you didn't do anything SPECIAL 2nite". Of course he was talking about sex. He was always talking about it, or things like that...that man was obsessed or something! But nevertheless, he was always right! I start laughing, walking quickly to the chief's bureau.

As i enter, i'm greeted not only by mi chief, but also by my best friend, the one who called me, Ydan, and 3 other good friends from my division, Moshe, Mihael and Shay.

The chief shows us some chairs, meaning that we should sit down. We do that, of course, and he starts talking.

"Well well, sleeping beauties!! Didn't see you in a loooong time! Anything interesting you have to tell me? How's your life? ... well does not matter!!! (he always does that, but he means no harm, he just likes messing around an joking!) Let's cut to the chase!
As usual, you do know that what your going to hear is very classified, you can't tell it to your friends, girlfriends, wives, children, family, nor anyone else in the whole Mossad!...well this is not USUAL!! so try not to tell it even to GOD HIMSELF, you hear me!! even though he knows and hears us...it's that important!!"

At that point we start...semi-laughing cos we know the chief likes to joke...

"Laughing aren't you!? well, i'm dead serious, you hear me? DEAD!...serious! What we have here is something...beyond important. Beyond assasinating some terrorists that work undercover as docile workers in europe or anywhere else in the world! beyond sabotaging our enemies plans, beyond assasinating Nasrallah, Osama, hell, beyond even assasinating the most important person in the world!! whoever that is!...this, my fellow sons of god's creations...has something to do with something that God gave us!! and alos with creations that do not belong to God!"

We start looking weird at him and at our selves. What happened to this man! Is he on drugs?! He's talking like a lunatic?!?!

"You've all read the Bible didn't you? (we all nod our heads firmly)...well...then you know God gave us some...objects! some...or more exactly most of which got lost...due to the roman, babylonian and greek bastards! ...well...there's a 20% chance (he always used that number when talking about "chances"...even though they were actualy 100% or 0%....strange man this chief!!) that we MIGHT know where one of them is....Any guesses? (2 seconds pass) Oh it's 2 dificult for you to think that hard so i'll tell you!! the ark...yes! moses's ark!!"

That was 2 much already!! So i star talking

"What the hell are you talking about cheif!! the "ARK"...are you out of your mind? You can fire me for insulting you, i don't care! You're talking about sacred things here and moreover you're talking about the ARK like it's a missing nuclear bomb some terrorists are trying to transport or..."
(he interrupts me)

"NUCLEAR!! i like that word! funny enough, it has a lot 2 do with your next mission!! You know why? Oh, your heads couldn't make such a hard connexion...You're going to Chernobyl!! Yes...that place you hear about in the news and in the internet, where there's been a lot of strange thing happen, mutants, anomalies, stalkers and so on!! Why i chose you is because you are the most promising and succesful agents we have right now!"

I get angry again, so i start talking "Ok...chief...seriously, you call us here, tell us....or at least this is how i get it...that the ARK might be in chernobyl...tell us we're going there and that's it? it's 2 abrupt and i for one can't get anything out of it!! DETAILS!! i want DETALIS PLAN!!"

cheif:

"Details you should get! but i'm 2 lazy to tell them 2 you know...i actually called you here just 2 give each one of you these reporst about what EXACTLY you are going to do there...everything is in these files! (he pulls out 5 copies, for each one of us...they were huge!! as thick as a dictionary!). Now take them, go home, read them carefully! You'll be hearing from me in a week! Bye-bye!"

We take the files, get out of the HQ...in all this time though we were walking one next to each other looking at the files, we didn't say a word to each other!! we were extremly shoked and fogged by what we just heard! We knew that the chief had a manner of making big and important missions sound like a walk in the park....but this was about the Ark!! And Chernobyl!! 2 totally different things...Not one israeli has ever set foot to chernobyl and had anything to do with it, but in the same time, the Ark is almost as important as God for us!....strange things messing with our mind....I really had to read this files! It was making no sense at all whatsoever!

I got home...really tired cause i was awakened by a phone call....put the files on my desk, undressed, got into bed, and got back to sleep with all these strange things in my head.

The next morning i went to work, and then came back at 6 pm, as usual. After a shower, i entered my bedroom, and looked at the files on the desk...aproached it, sat on the chair, and with my hand shaking a little, oppened the files and started reading....

The first pages were an introduction, like a documentary about what the Ark was. At first sight i said to myself that i already know what it is! it's part of my culture, but at a second glance, i saw a chapter called "secrets of the ark"...that sounded interesting so i started reading that.

After reading the chapter, what i understood is that some scientists and rabbis came to believe, by studying the bible, that the ark was some sort of radioactive object...of unknown origin (radioactivity was just discovered relatively recently after all...this is something that happened over 3000 years ago!) and that at some point some people that touched it (this is from the Bible) got burned to ashes...

I thought to myself ok....it's a theory...just like the aliens, ufos, crop circles and so on! So i'd better read the more important part, the one about our mission and how this...if it really is the ARK, got all the way to Chernobyl...hell's gate as i'd like to call it.

I took me 4 hours to carefully read all the information....at the end of which i was loaded with cold sweat...shaking...shocked!!! I could not believe even one word of what i've read...and for only digesting it i needed a long sleep....

So, i carefully got into bed, with my whole body shaking a bit and my eyes wide open, looked at the watch, it was about 12:30 am...and went to sleep....hoping that tomorrow i will be able to make more sense out of what i read, and also consult my team about it...

end of part 1



note: i'm not QUITE sure about continuing this story, especially if it's not worth anything. I must specify that i've never written any kind of story before!!! and this story was more or less made up as i'm writing it. therefore, i'm a total noob and won't get upsed if someone tells me it sucks!! cos i've never done it before...so....did u like this first part? do you think it's worth more? should i continue? if yes, post some replies, so i'd get encouraged and continue it (btw i have it sort of in my head, and it's quite long)...if not, well, at least i tried

waiting for your comments!
  12:12:27  9 May 2007
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Sajeezzar
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 03/16/2007
 

Message edited by:
Sajeezzar
05/09/2007 16:14:52
Messages: 1429
There are a lot of typos and you are leaving capital letters and punctuation out. Also, try using less exclamation marks.

But! The story has potential and if you practice writing and your story might be great! Dont give up, keep writing! Make it a little bit less confusing and describe everything around the character.

Tips:
-Dont use internet slang: Use to instead of 2.
-Less !!!
-You should use more " instead of ...

---QUOTATION---
"Ok...chief...seriously, you call us here, tell us....or at least this is how i get it...that the ARK might be in chernobyl...tell us we're going there and that's it? it's 2 abrupt and i for one can't get anything out of it!!
---END QUOTATION---


Try it like this, sounds more smooth:

---QUOTATION---
"Ok, chief. Seriously, you can call us here and tell us or at least this is how I get it: The ARK might be in Chernobyl. You're telling us that we are going there and that's it? It's too abrupt and I, for one, can't get anything out of it!
---END QUOTATION---



EDIT: Forgot to say: Good luck and have fun writing!
 
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