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Snork bait (feedback)

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  00:03:18  22 September 2009
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QuaNTuMbenxh
Albanian Monsteя!
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 10/05/2008
Messages: 918
Listen Dude!

Just get him a nice Bulat Upgraded preferred!

and ill stop commenting bad stuff... say he found if off a dead corpse!

IN PRISTINE condition.

THE WEARER DIED of : HEART ATTACK BANZAI!
  00:07:47  22 September 2009
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Psynexus
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 04/15/2007
 

Message edited by:
Psynexus
09/22/2009 0:09:00
Messages: 490
Good stuff, I just finished Part VII. It was quite a history lesson, short and sweet. It reminds me a lot of the beginning of my own story, actually, so I'm curious to see what path Snork Bait takes.

And I completely understand the reasoning behind the military letting them go - considering the nearly 100% fatal nature of The Zone, why would they want to risk their own necks when there's already layers upon layers of deathtraps lying in wait? I used the same logic in my story and it's a good compromise to make to keep the Stalker atmosphere without sacrificing too much realism.

Agreed that the "SAS" card is a good one to play as it does seem to be his only one. If he didn't have it, other Stalkers would just see him as a bigger waste of space than they already consider him without any gear or prior experience in The Zone.

Once again, excellent work.
  00:27:38  22 September 2009
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snorkbait
Nexus 6
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 11/21/2008
Messages: 1081
wolfsblut: Glad you're still reading.
I wouldn't say it's a non-aggression pact, per se, as it's one-sided: the army could take them any old time. More of an 'allocation of effort and resources' thing.

Quantum: Looks like he's going to have to get a lot of stuff that way.

psynexus: Cheers. I knew it was getting close to being overdone, but for him, credibility is everything (it's also why he mentions his 'associations' to Sid).
Also, getting on with reading through L&D now you've hosted it elsewhere. Comments when I'm done.
  02:34:40  22 September 2009
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Psynexus
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 04/15/2007
Messages: 490

---QUOTATION---
wolfsblut: Glad you're still reading.
I wouldn't say it's a non-aggression pact, per se, as it's one-sided: the army could take them any old time. More of an 'allocation of effort and resources' thing.

Quantum: Looks like he's going to have to get a lot of stuff that way.

psynexus: Cheers. I knew it was getting close to being overdone, but for him, credibility is everything (it's also why he mentions his 'associations' to Sid).
Also, getting on with reading through L&D now you've hosted it elsewhere. Comments when I'm done.
---END QUOTATION---



Sweet, if you hadn't noticed I change the link in my sig to the WritersCafe stuff. My new stuff is posted there too... even though nobody's reading it! Hahaha... enjoy the comments you're getting, they really are your lifeblood as a writer sometimes. Now excuse me while I shrivel up and die.
  04:13:32  22 September 2009
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Do0mzday-Jesus
Senior Resident
 

 
On forum: 09/01/2009
Messages: 211

---QUOTATION---
wolfsblut: Glad you're still reading.
I wouldn't say it's a non-aggression pact, per se, as it's one-sided: the army could take them any old time. More of an 'allocation of effort and resources' thing.

Quantum: Looks like he's going to have to get a lot of stuff that way.

psynexus: Cheers. I knew it was getting close to being overdone, but for him, credibility is everything (it's also why he mentions his 'associations' to Sid).
Also, getting on with reading through L&D now you've hosted it elsewhere. Comments when I'm done.

Sweet, if you hadn't noticed I change the link in my sig to the WritersCafe stuff. My new stuff is posted there too... even though nobody's reading it! Hahaha... enjoy the comments you're getting, they really are your lifeblood as a writer sometimes. Now excuse me while I shrivel up and die.
---END QUOTATION---



Man, I might be slow sometimes but gimme a break! I'm reading your stories.
  12:50:39  22 September 2009
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snorkbait
Nexus 6
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 11/21/2008
Messages: 1081

---QUOTATION---
Sweet, if you hadn't noticed I change the link in my sig to the WritersCafe stuff. My new stuff is posted there too... even though nobody's reading it! Hahaha... enjoy the comments you're getting, they really are your lifeblood as a writer sometimes. Now excuse me while I shrivel up and die.
---END QUOTATION---



Yeah, comments are good - even negative ones, provided they're constructive.
Is now the time to mention I've had non-Stalker short stories put in print (4 of 'em)? Well, it is now.
  14:09:35  22 September 2009
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-=Grunt=-
Cake Muncher
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 01/08/2009
Messages: 4114
Great stuff, like always.
  16:01:15  22 September 2009
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hhiker
off to new worlds
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 10/31/2008
 

Message edited by:
hhiker
09/22/2009 17:14:04
Messages: 4290
on game connections

[Just to be clear: the following, i assure you, is based on the fact that i find "the big picture" enjoyable enough to pick on details.]

I'll try to be a bit constructive now; it will be partially general musing (about all fanfiction) but it concerns this story specifically as well.
I've only started to discover the "Stories" section in last few months and only gone through 3 or 4 projects in this time.

There's one nagging thought about story-game connections that applies to every single piece i've read here.
- Describing landscapes, scenery, important locations, etc using the ingame geography - excellent, it really helps to explore those places in one's mind.
- the "background" charachters such as traders, squad leaders and so on taking a role int he story (and often reflecting the steps in the beginning of a new game) - fine; creates a nice point of reference and sort of brings the 'What-cinderella-does-on-her-day-off" kind of dimension to the story, as well as the game).
- mutants, gadgets, gear, items - describing them as seen in the games and adding one's own twists to it - super, it all helps to dig in to the story.
All of the above works well and helps the story along.

And then...
for some reason, when any of you (no exception, i've had the same reaction in all the stories i've otherwise enjoyed) brings up the protagonist of either game it feels like a cold shower (not as in "refreshing" but as in "turnoff" ). If the story already was about one of the protagonists or his friends, i wouldn't mind, it would be a different kind of story then.
But if here we've got a unique piece with its own characters and its own logic, pace, goals and so on... (basically, a piece of writing that is already great in its own merit) then each time a game's main character's name pops up, i go, like - "WHY?".
It feels so unnecesary.

(Hope it was constructive)

(ED: fixed the unintentional smug smiley)
  16:19:02  22 September 2009
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snorkbait
Nexus 6
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 11/21/2008
Messages: 1081
-=grunt=-: Thanks. Just like always.

hhiker: Oy. Where to start? I take your point but a reply would run longer than I want it to here. Could I mail you or something?
  16:40:08  22 September 2009
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hhiker
off to new worlds
(Resident)

 

 
On forum: 10/31/2008
Messages: 4290

---QUOTATION---

hhiker: Oy. Where to start? I take your point but a reply would run longer than I want it to here. Could I mail you or something?
---END QUOTATION---



Sure.
(Just in case - my mail headers display real name and i haven't been able to find how change those settings... just saying, don't want to cause any domestic disturbances and such )

Think i can anticipate one counterpoint - giving a timeframe to your events. Can't really argue that but the effect is just the same.
 
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